Congratulations! You got it at last!

Hey pals, so still stuck at a point where you are being judged? or finding it hard to place yourselves at a point in life? No worries, we are here to brighten up your day. Don’t worry, we are not selling any products for you, neither asking time if you have time for the Lord, our saviour “Cthulhu“. In the following article, let me help you understand what you did wrong in life. So that you would finally get it.

Having An Opinion:
What? You had an opinion on something? How dare you? I mean don’t you understand this, you should not have an opinion on something. Your research may be correct, you might actually state facts but you should not have an opinion. Did you use your education and resources to have an opinion on something? How condescending! But to save us from this we always have people who correct us by their opinions, not facts. How lucky we are! Next time don’t give them work. Don’t have opinions.

Standing Up When You Get Bullied Or Trolled:
Do you see how silly it sounds? Standing up for yourselves? Come on, who do you think you are? They are trolling you and having fun, let them enjoy, why are you stopping it? I mean, you must be fun at parties. It may hurt, but who cares? The others are having fun don’t stop it. Get bullied, let people enjoy when you mentally breakdown and cry. You are getting trolled and getting memes being made on you? Get trolled, see people are laughing so must take it. You are not special okay!

Stating A Rational Thought:
Did you state a rational thought on someone’s belief? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you dumb? Why don’t you understand this? You think you are rational and therefore they are facts, huh? Don’t you know that loud voices matter most instead of a fact? But luckily, even for this, we have people who cuss even our families and us, so that we don’t state facts next time. I’m feeling privileged!

Sharing Passions With Your Family:
You asked your family members that you have a passion and want to follow it? Oh, my sweet summer child! Did you have a concussion or an aneurism? You have a passion and want to follow it? Oh gosh! You are completely wasted! Who have passions? Only successful people! How did they become successful? By following their passion! Don’t you think and understand this? Luckily even here we have family who brings our self-esteem and confidence down by saying things like “You are a disgrace to this family” ” I wish you weren’t born.” So that we don’t have demonic possessions like “passion.”

Setting Your Personal Life Goals Based On Your Strengths:
That is the dumbest thing you can do! Setting goals based on your strengths? What is wrong with you? Did you use your mind to think? Are you doing drugs or what? How foolish of you? You yourself decide when you marry, have kids, where to work and what to do? Don’t you have a fear of being judged for minding your own business? If you do everything on our own, what is the need for relatives? And who gave you the right to think about yourselves. Don’t do this; let others decide what you do.

Feeling Sad When You Are Backstabbed. Specially In Work Place:
You are sad when your colleague backstabs you and takes a promotion? I mean you believe you deserve a promotion? Come on, come back to reality! Your colleague outsmarted you. How stupid of you to trust them? You revolted against them when you found this? Oh man, you never see it do you? They just used you and thrown you out like a tissue. They might say “Don’t worry God will take care of everything.” You might get thoughts like “Around 1.08 million people died of corona and he couldn’t save them, why would he give a rats ass on a guy who got betrayed at a workplace?” That is a question for a different day. Don’t get thoughts like this, just work like a slave and try to be a slave master next time.

In the end, if you don’t follow the above steps, you will have a complete life. Yes one more important thing, if anything wrong happens to you without you doing anything, raise your hand and say “It is my fault.” That is the cherry on the top! Congratulations! You finally got it!

Published by

Mourya Koundinya

Writer by choice and a technical associate by life. Very passionate for story telling. Re inventing myself as a writer to try new things. A line that keeps me running every day is "Failing doesn't give you a reason to give up as long as you believe." from Naruto.

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