The Pragmatic Suicide Note.

It is past 3:00 AM, and John is sitting on his chair and is thinking something very deeply. He takes the last sip of the energy drink and throws the can away. That is the day John decided to end things for him; he planned his suicide. As his family has different health issues, there were all kinds of drugs in his house. He picks a bunch of them puts in front of him and decides to end it.

Before that, he decides to write a suicide note explaining why he is ending it. He searches for a pen and paper and gets them. He thinks on what to write, and many thoughts are bouncing over his head. He gets confused and gets emotional. After some time, he gathers himself and decides to write. As it has been days since John wrote something using a pen, he fumbled a bit at the beginning and continues.

“Hey, so I decided to end things,
Day by day, life made no sense.
It has been a journey of 23 years,
I have nothing left but tears.”

There is a chill down his spine, and he falls back on the chair and wipes the tears. He sits there, holding his head for some time. He then gathers himself together, holds the pen again and continues.

“The past few days were like living in a pressure cooker,
Each and every moment of it made me sicker.
Every single day felt like a dog chewed bone,
By thinking it, I had my brain blown.”

A tear rolls down the cheek of John; he wipes it and pauses for a moment. He then gains a bit of confidence and continues.

“I know life is not a bed of roses,
There will be happiness and sadness.
My life has nothing but a colossal sorrow,
By thinking of it every moment I felt hollow.”

John couldn’t hold his emotion now; he stops for a moment and starts weeping. After some time, he holds the pen and continues.

“There were people who would listen to my sadness,
But I don’t want to tell them and disturb their peace.
Any sane mind will lose it if this is heard,
They would feel terrible, and tears would shred.”

John holds for a bit and thinks of his friends and the moments he shared with them when he was feeling low. After a long pause, he continues.

” I got many suggestions when I shared a few, yep,
But did I follow them and try making my situation better? Nope.
I always thought they want to stay and or go away from me,
But I never shared a few laughs or happiness and invited them to thee.”

By this, John gets a ray of hope. He takes the note and keeps it safely in his closet. He Puts the medicines back and goes back to bed, hoping it would be different and goes to sleep. Let’s hope the same for John.