Paava kadhaigal – A Movie review

Paava Kadhaigal, an apt title for such a wonderful anthology. This anthology speaks about four different stories with one common emotion, the honour killings. Directed by Sudha Kongara, Gautham Menon, Vetrimaaran and Vignesh Shivan, one story each. This is an anthology that portrays humans’ cruelty to sustain the honour in society.
The series begins with a beautiful graphic story that briefs all the tales in a nutshell played with a soulful BGM.

The concept-

As the series runs around the concept of honour killings, each story tells a different tale of why and how honour killings happen. Though centuries have passed, specific ideas still aren’t passe like “honour killings”. It is a beautiful concept to talk about as people should progress as the world is progressing.

The narration-

Every story has been narrated with a subtility that one can’t ignore the reality behind such stories. But one story that didn’t strike the heartstrings was the story directed by Vignesh Shivan. It stands last when compared with other stories of Paava Kadhaigal.

All angles study-

While the stories got us goosebumps with the hits and punches of emotions, some memorable scenes need light.
In the first story, Kalidas Jayaram plays Sattharu who just wooed us with his performance. The dialogue, “People either got irritated if I go close or came close to me with lust, no one ever hugged me with love!” brought a massive thought into how trans people are treated in society. Kalidas just lived through every tear he shed for the role. The song, “Thangame Thangame” still echoes in my ears.

In the second story, Jyothi, played by Anjali, expresses a deep emotion when she cries before her sister’s dead body.

In the third story, the chemistry between Mathi and Satya played by Simran, and Gautam Menon perfectly worked. When they are happy to when they are sad, the shift of emotions and expressions portrayed a perfect couple.

In the fourth story, Sumathi, played by Sai Pallavi, performed exceptionally in the climax scene. The conversation between Sumathi and Janakiram played by Prakash Raj is heartbreaking.

There are a few parts that are questionable in the series. Every swear word used in Paava Kadhaigal is women-centric. Where such liberal stories are spoken, these words shouldn’t hinder the audiences’ ears. We understand when they are used in anger, but story directed by Vignesh Shivan made a whole scene with swear words which had no purpose. The climax is an epic fail as there wasn’t a need to show that Jothi acted as a lesbian while she isn’t. It could have been better if the story had ended as if Jothi is lesbian.

That being said, there is too much to be told and consumed in this series. One cannot go without tears rolling in the eyes after watching Paava Kadhaigal. The foolishness of humans to have a hold of pride and honour in the name of caste, religion, status, societal standards should be stopped, and for what, Paava Kadhaigal is the answer!

The Devil inside me

How beautiful the horror you create,

To those who give you agony,

The tears that fall fill my heart,

Deep and dense they touch me,

The smile you hide but I do,

When you have a guilty pleasure,

Sometimes I fear if I am an animal,

As I hold the hunger to feed,

But then i realize it yet again,

I am a catastrophe beyond a nightmare,

But hey you! Are you guilty of having me?

Do I need to tell you that I am everywhere,

Hidden in the mask of niceness,

Laughing behind the white screen,

No matter how much you try,

I am something you can’t deny,

For the fact is you are made of two sides,

The angel and the devil!

Death of Self and alienation from oneself

Well, if you are familiar with me, you might also be familiar with my usual philosophical topics about self, void and nothingness. Today I will not go deep into philosophies of self, but I will talk about the daily alienation one feels psychologically in the modern-day. I as a result of this confirm and declare “Death of Self, in modern day”. Day by day we lose ourselves, and one day there won’t be us anymore.

Death of Self internally

Well, this is something that happens internally. It begins right when you join a school or any ‘conditioning’ institution. What these ‘conditioning’ institutions do is preach morals that are generally accepted with no practical evidence. These prejudices exist to create a particular standard in the children’s brain. Schools exist to make this child into a product that won’t complain about running in the chase of money. It is true that schools also educate children and make them rational, but the disadvantages outweigh this advantage.

Somehow the morals, ethics and values that these school fix in the minds of children creates a fine line between what they desire and what they should do. Thus begins the alienation from themselves! They differentiate between desires and reality. They control their passion, likes and interests and follow up other people in the wild goose chase of money. I remember many teachers saying “passion is talk of an incompetent fool, competent people work hard for money”. Since then, whatever desire we get, we compare it with the preached morals and suppress them if they do not meet the societal standards. This suppression goes on throughout life; we consciously alienate ourselves.

Death of Self externally

Of course, school is an external factor, but it acts fundamentally to create this internal alienation. External factors, there are numerous things to speak about them. I will only talk of things that I have personally faced, so if that doesn’t seem like a factor of alienation for you, then it just means that you have a different external factor than I. For me, the most prominent external factor that kills me every day is people! People decide what I should do with my everyday life. And in turn, in their lives, it is someone else that decides for them. 

Some factor keeps me from doing the things I like. For suppose, if I wanted to spend my weekend on the couch, doing nothing, there comes an external force that pushes me out in the form of people. Sometimes an empty fridge causes this force to push me out, buy some vegetables. Sometimes it is a friend who felt lonely because he had seen some photos of his friends on Instagram. He saw that they were hanging out, and thus he decides to hang out with me forcing me to spend the day hanging out with him rather than on my couch.

This ‘friend’ analogy is merely an example of how little the problem yet how big the consequence would be. This small act of his can make me do something against my desire to lay on my couch. And these little acts, when repeated, may make me feel alienated from myself. I might feel out-of-control left choiceless. 

External yet, grand scale!

The grand scale, the primary alienation that comes externally, is from the morals. They might be the ones that the schools fed you, or your guardians did, or you learned them yourself from a preacher or other sources. When you believe these prejudices, you begin to judge yourselves. You begin to feel guilty if you have done something selfish. It is almost as being selfish is an evil thing. ‘Selfish’ is now a negative term! Preachers push their ideas of ‘selfless’ and kill your self with their judgements.

A white-bearded weirdly-clothed guru tells you that you should not masturbate and preserve your energy. He calls your lust evil and tells you that you are a devil. If that impacted you: if you took him seriously, then you are going to feel guilty whenever you committed the act. The acts that you do for someone else, charity, help and favours have become a business. This favour-giving business makes people think they are great because they have done something that is not selfish.

Unselfish and Selfless!

Little do people know that a genuinely unselfish act is not selfless. “Selfless” doesn’t exist! There is self in everything you do, without self you do not live. The self is nothing but you! The death of self is the death of you. All these preached morals, norms, white-beards and conditioning institutions want you to kill your emotions, desires and passion in the name of civilisation. “Instead of buying a thousand dollar phone, you could have donated it!” they will tell you. You could have also bought a thousand one-dollar-candies, but that is not what you wanted. All you wanted was a phone; you bought it! It is your money; you desired it; now enjoy it! Let no external factor kill yourself! 

I’m not preaching you immoral; I’m telling you that it is okay to be amoral instead!

The trend of eating Dosa, aka, Indian Pizza

Dosa! Every Indian or a fan of Indian cuisine is aware of this infamous and notorious food. As simple as it is to make, it is also one of the light foods you can take as a snack! But why is it a trend in the modern era? How is it possible to make a 100 varieties of Dosa? Doesn’t it ever make you curious that people can make anything with dosas? I was astonished to see some vendors making Pizza Dosa! What a beautiful thought to fuse different cuisines! And these kinds of fusions and combinations are only possible with this simple and straightforward dish!

The Indian Pizza!

There is no hesitation in calling Dosas as Indian Pizzas. If you consider the amount of population that goes gaga for these varieties are more or equal in number with the people who love Pizzas. You need a lot of time and stuff to make a pizza. But all it takes to make a Dosa is the batter. You need to take time and your focus on mixing this batter. Once you mix the batter perfectly, the next thing is to spread it on the pan and fry the batter to crisp. Done! Yep, that’s all it takes to make a Dosa!

The proper way to eat this infamous dish is to eat it directly. But with the rise of Dosa, people figured out a way to make a lot of varieties with this batter-fry. Dosa became the base and adding toppings like spice, herbs, and fried vegetables made it tastier. This way of making a topping-dosa gave birth to the illegitimate child of Italy and South-India; the Pizza Dosa! You can add anything on top of it, cheese, paneer, chicken gravy, just onions or even potato mash!

Dosa with spices and potato mash is a famous dish and hailed as ‘Masala Dosa’. The raw quality of a Dosa is to blend in whatever you put over it. It tastes like anything you put over it. Like if you put stuffings over bread and call it a sandwich, Dosa can become anything you want. This adaptable taste made the younger people turn towards Dosa. It is tasty, and it takes less time to prepare one. With proper mixing, you can cook multiple dosas with the batter.

The only problem with the Dosa going wrong is over-frying or burning it. A burnt dosa tastes as bad as an un-burnt Taco! When you pour the batter on the pan, the timing should be right! Frying it less makes it taste like eating batter and frying it more tastes so bad. If you master your chi and maintain some inner peace while frying this battery semi-liquid like an omelette, you have the most famous Indian dish ready in your hands!

Wrapping up!

Ironically some even dare to call Dosa as Vegetarian Omelette, do not try to commit such heinous crimes. Accept the Dosa for what it is. It is an iconic food for vegetarians, and comparing it with another item will only make it lose its natural charm. The trend of Dosa has now reached overseas, and every South-Indian restaurant all over the world flaunts different types of Dosas on their main menu. No matter how tasty and easy these things are, they under shadow many other delicious South-Indian dishes. People have even started calling South-Indians as ‘Dosa’. The sad thing, I would feel happy if someone called me a ‘Mysore Bonda’ for one thing. Yeah, South-India is a place with varieties of foods and simple yet focused making processes. Just because it is easy to make, making Dosa the leading food of South-India does overrate Dosa and underrate all the other delicious foods like, Vada, Gaarelu Mirchi Bajji, Mysore Bonda and Idly, nope sorry, not idly.

Pizza Dosa is fine, but let’s not get stuck to Pizzas of India, and also try Spaghettis, Pasta and Tiramisus of India!

Will she ever miss me? – Final part

Its 4 am, it has been three days we broke up. I am unable to sleep.

My minds play the moments I spent with her in repeat mode. Neither I can talk to her, nor I can move on from her. I have spent all these three days in my bedroom neither my parents know it nor my friend. Eyes are tired of crying. The mind is filled with numbness. Somehow I passed one month with this sorrow in my heart. Let me tell you guys. In these 30 days, I carried tons of weight of the heart. I was tired of thinking and crying for her.

The worst part is, Aafreen called me to meet in college. I went to meet her. She was sitting on the bench in the Garden. When I was seeing her from far, I don’t know why I felt; It’s going to be worse. I was preparing myself. Then I said, “Let’s face it”. I went near her, didn’t say hai to her. Just sat on the other end of the bench, by crossing my legs.

(conversation started)

Aafreen- Hai. How are you, Suraj?

Suraj– You didn’t come here to know how am I right?

Aafreen– Why are you rude to me?

Suraj– Am I? Aafreen I don’t have the energy to argue with you. Please tell me why you have asked me to meet. Otherwise, I will leave.

Aafreen – Suraj, I am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I shouldn’t have interfered in your life.

Suraj– You shouldn’t be sorry for coming into life. You should be sorry for abrupt ends.

Do you know? How I am being these days. YOU block me whenever you want, and you talk to me whenever you like. Is this how it is. I shamelessly accept all this for my love towards you.

Aafreen– Suraj, I accept everything that it’s my mistake. But I didn’t know anything to do.

But Suraj, I come from a different world, Where I cant love. Somehow my heart didn’t listen to me. whatever it’s my mistake, As your JON SNOW(Game of thrones lead actor) said, “One shouldnt promise which he cant behold.”( smiling)

My intent was never to break your heart, I always wanted to be in your heart. But it happened.

Suraj– I am sorry for being rude. There was a lot of pain inside me that came out as anguish. By the way, You never promised until I insisted, maybe somehow I was also a partner of this reason of pain.

Aafreen– Suraj, I called you for a reason. I am leaving the city. Maybe you can never see me. But this a goodbye Suraj. All I wanted to say, I am sorry, and Whether you believe it or not, I loved you. I miss you a lot. Please be happy. Do whatever you want to do in your life.

When I was about to convince “Aafreen, listen to me.”

She said, “Please suraj, let it be. This is it.” She went away.

At the moment, guys, I was feeling dead inside. For 4 months, I lived with a burdened heart. Slept with old pain and woke up with new pain. It was so hard for me to smile even. I cried for no reason some times. 

It got worst when I met with an accident. My hand was fractured, and I got a severe knee injury. When I met with an accident, Zameer was the one who received the call of my accident. He carried me to the hospital, took care of me for 2 days continuously. He was there with my family and me. When my M.tech classmates told to Zameer that I have been going through all this. He was furious towards it. 

One morning, When I was crying on my hospital bed, and he saw it. 

Zameer– What happened? Is it paining?

Suraj– I am unable to forget her Zameer. Will she ever miss me? Like I miss her.

Zameer- Why do you want to forget her. You just need to accept that it was only a beautiful memory. You had your first love dude, you loved her with utmost sincerity. She loved you back. But some are not destined. 

Everything in this world had some expiry period. I know its hard to move on, But the hardest thing is not accepting the reality. Start your new journey.

Suraj-Sorry man, I didn’t know how to share with you.

Zameer– Don’t worry, I will always find about you. By the way, we are going home.

Suraj– Thanks dude

Zameer– Abey chup na..

In the process of time, I started to come out of it. It was hard, but I never gave up. I said to myself, “It’s Ok”. It’s not that I forgot entirely, but I moved on. Whenever I think of Aafreen, a smile comes, for me, Aafreen is my smile.

Moving on is the greatest gift for human beings. Always remember life is a lengthy equation with different functions, including love, but all you need to know is how to make L.H.S = R.H.S.

Will she ever miss me-Part-4

She blocked me both virtually and in her real world.
Its been two months. It’s not that I don’t miss Aafreen. Still, I gradually learnt that Life is a lengthy equation with different functions in it, including love. I felt forcing or convincing is not suitable for any relation. I just left to time that if we were meant to be, We would cross our paths.

Somehow gradually, I got too got busy in my academics. But whenever I used to see Aafreen, I always felt we could have been a good couple. It was final year, Hardly one month was left in college time. But, whenever I had a chance to see her, I didn’t miss it. It was relieving pain to see her.

In the middle of the night, I just figured, after 2 days it’s farewell. I realised that at the end of my fairytale. I grabbed pen and notepad started writing about my feelings. I still remember I signed in such a way that her name was highlighted through my name. I planned it to give it on the farewell day because she will be available in the waiting room.

It was our farewell day, I was hosting it. There was a list in my hand again. I was going through the list of participants, the name was not on the list. I was searching for her in the crowd. She was just sitting at the right edge in front rows. She was shining like the moon in constellations of stars.

I never had a conversation with her, if this day passes I might never.
I just wanted to sing for her. I took a list I added a name in cultural event list in singing events.
I took mic addressed crowd “This farewell is end to many moments we had with our friends. Don’t know we can live it again in our lives. But if this is it then why not bid farewell it with a smile.”
When the crowd was singing with me for Rahman’s music. It was magical.

I took the same bus, which she accepted. I asked a girl on the bus, to forward this letter to her. We got down at the same spot but when we started moving our directions were opposite.

I had a smile on a face, but inside I was bleeding. When I was on the bed, I had tears on my eyes. The numbness I felt, I can’t forget it. Time passed, I started to accept the things that how they are. After a few days, I got a seat in M.Tech in University.
New Phase began. Hostel life, seriousness in studies and I became more mature.

In my masters, we used to be very serious regarding exams. We slept in the afternoon and studied in the nights. Though our canteen was not that good, samosa and Green tea are fantastic.

My friends and I were having snacks in the canteen, there was a girl in burkha seeing me, I saw her I just felt Deja vu. I told myself, “Not again dude.”

At night 9 PM, when I came back from the mess, there were four missed calls on my mobile.
I called back and said ” Hello” there was a girl’s voice from the other side “Hai, is this Suraj?”
I answered back “Yes I am Suraj, who is this?”
she said, “Hai suraj, It’s Aafreen this side.”

Will she ever miss me-Part-3

by- K Dada Hayath

Click here for the first part!

Click here for the second part!

I messaged “I am in love with you, Aafreen, maybe love at first conscious sight.”

When I just messaged this. Even though I felt lite when I messaged, but my mind got struck. I felt someone had pressed pause button in my life.

I was waiting for her reply. But I don’t know she went offline after seeing it. I kept seeing my Facebook account for every minute, but she didn’t reply.

Days passed, waiting for her reply. Even in college, whenever I see her, she used to turn her face off. I felt ridiculous. One day even I tried to talk to her in the canteen by saying “hai” she just went away by ignoring me. That was it. I felt enough of it. I just felt its unhealthy for my self-respect. I just started ignoring my feelings towards her.

Days passed, I started to focus on my college. My article on ” Breaking stereotypes on men” got published in the college newsletter. It got good applaud and appreciation.

When I was about to sleep, my mobile started blinking. I checked it.

It was like Shaik Aafreen messaged.

The feelings which were suppressed in my heart started coming out. My heart started beating in rhythm, and I was blushing before opening the message.

She messaged “Wrote well, Keep it up.”

I replied, “Thank You.”

She messaged “How are you?” I replied, “I am good.” I didn’t want to start a formal conversation with her. I didn’t ask “How about you?”

There was a big pause in our chat. But I told myself to not sound desperate. After a few minutes, Aafreen messaged “What else how else life is going?”

I angrily replied, “Really?”

“What’s wrong with you. See if you don’t want to acknowledge my feelings towards you. That’s OK. But I can’t behave as if nothing happened. But I think, You should have at least said something right.”

She replied “I am sorry, i didnt mean to hurt you. It was very shocking to me. We never known each other that well, how can someone directly propose. Its very amature.”

I replied back “Yeah maybe, but you could have replied. Do you know, I waited for many days then i thought “It’s just a waste of time. So, I moved on.”

She Replied, “Hmmm, good for you.”

I replied, “Arey what’s the issue? I can un derstand you need time. you take it.”

She replied “please Suraj, don’t get in to this in our conversation. I don’t believe in this all.”

I replied “OK.”

I felt it was the start of my love story. We used to chat every day.

Though my love story was typical to all, For me it was cuter than Romeo and Juliet. It was time where I used to recite the lyrics of every romantic song by thinking of her.

But you need to understand there is a difference between trance and reality, luckily you will have someone who slaps you in a trance makes you realise that it’s not real. That was my friend, Zameer.

He said, “Don’t you think you are real to her”. I said “Ofcourse, Maamu” by smiling foolishly.

He said, “Dont lie to me, I can easily tell by the way of your smile.”

I said, ” What to do maamu, What can I say . She doesn’t like to have a conversation on it itself” He suggested, “Then You stop talking or you stop lying to yourself”. What if she blocks me again.

He said “Then she is not meant for you. But in fear of it, I dont want you to live in lie.”

he added “Just tell her what she meant for you. If she accepts that means you are lucky. If not she is lucky” started silently smiling.

I didn’t notice the humour in it, then I got it ” Abey.. #@$@^$@.”

Next day, I messaged Aafreen, “Can we meet, I need to talk to you?”

she replied “Suraj, I don’t like to meet. Please message me whatever it is.”

I messaged a long paragraph, but let me shorten it for you

“I can’t be a friend to you. I love you so much. If it’s not OK for you. I think we need to stop talking to each other. But I know we can be awesome together.”

 She replied “Sorry Suraj, I cant accept this, let’s stop talking to each other. That will be better for both”

Then she used that biggest weapon ” BLOCK.”

That’s What She Actually Said

By -Gayatri Agarwal

There was a time when we were called deities;
Now we have come to a world;
Where we are just a part of pities.

Every morning we wake;
Every step we take;
It’s considered to be a mistake.
Whether it be;
Wearing a dress of our choice;
Or hanging out with the boys;
Or ever raising our voice.
Everything is just an invite;
To a rape threat;
For they believe;
we should be a silent pet.

For she being bold, comfortable and independent;
Made few dicks feel incompetent;
Because we live in a world;
Where being egoistic is a sign of accomplishment.
Who is to decide on their punishment?
Where even law & order:
Is run by mismanagement.

When are we to live free?
When are we going to be safe?
Is it when we go to our grave?
1950 to 2020, 70 years;
And it’s just been freedom of tears.

Your planet needs you – #PaperBagDay

With the green bedspread;
And a blue blanket on top;
Mother Earth has been a beautiful stop.
But it’s all fading away;
With all the plastic on the bay;
Earth has a price to pay.

Look around you;
The ocean is losing its hue;
And the land is nowhere to be renewed.
Air, water, soil, noise;
The pollution has taken away it’s joy;
A fabulous gift we have give back to Earth;
Who has given us shelter& food since birth.

Reuse, recycle and reduce;
Or else we will have the most to lose;
Take a step & make a difference;
For Earth is a serene ambience.
A small step would count a lot;
So let’s not leave the environment to rot;
Switch to paper bags and say no to plastic;
For there’s only one Earth;
and we got to keep it sustainably fantastic.

Never too late to see a way out of a troubled marriage!

By – Gayatri Agarwal

Woke up with the love of my life;

 It looked like a dream to be his wife;

 One year into the marriage;

 And we were blessed with a baby boy in our carriage.

 Two years down the lane;

 The love started to fade away;

 Was he the same man, I couldn’t even say.

 Over the years;

 Domestic violence & abuse were raining over;

 It was like a complete turnover.

 The child who was in my womb for nine months;

 Was now the only hope in front.

 Eight years into the marriage and my dreams crashed;

 Now hope felt like trash;

 That’ when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore.

 Hid it from my family;

 Thinking they would never understand my story.

 Finally, when I broke the news of violence to them;

 They became my biggest support system.

 This marriage was now a ban;

 The trauma of my kid going away with that man;

  will never fill the void;

 But now I can at least look at myself without being paranoid.

 Looking back at the lessons that life has taught me;

 It seems like being bold, independent & strong wanted some fee.

 For people in an unhappy marriage;

 Don’t keep quiet in shame or fear;

 For that is definitely not a life you deserve.

 I’m proud to be where I am today;

 Because now, I have finally come out of the grey.