Rape: Now Just A Statistic!

   India is a country of 1.38 Billion people which equals to 17.7% of the world’s population. Approximately 1/5th world population lives in India, as the population is vast, the laws and awareness of the situations must be very high so that everyone can enjoy their freedom. But are we doing the same? I don’t think so.

   We know all the statistics on the number of rapes that happen in an hour, a day etc., It is bizarre that it has just become just a statistic. People always asked how many rapes happened? when did rape happen? Have they ever gave a thought on how did rape happen? What caused it? And went to the roots of it? Nope.

   Let us try to understand real yet dangerous statistics. There are many surveys conducted by various websites, news channels and many other forms. The data says that came to limelight is very shocking. Many of the men think that girls invite rape by:

1. Wearing short clothes.

2. Working late at night.

3.  Hanging out with her male friends.

4. Partying late nights. 

   The above four and other related reasons topped in their survey’s, and the actual reason never even showed up. If I had a dollar for every time I see a man say or comment rape is “invited, I would buy a dictionary and throw that on his fucking face and ask him to check the definition of “Consent” and “rape.” 

   If anyone thinks the reason for rape is from the above four reasons, he is a potential rapist. He may not rape, but he has the same thinking of a rapist. If clothing is the reason, some rapes occurred on five months old kids and to even 90 old years women. If late nights are the reason, there are many countries in which women move freely at any hour of the night. The only cause of rape is the man’s mentality to rape. There is no other reason than that; it is the man’s fault.

   Recently in Uttar Pradesh (A state of India), four rape incidents came to light in two days. In those four cases, two of the girls were minors. In those four a girl is brutally gang-raped by four men. They slit her tongue, broke her spine and horrendously murdered her. In the other three girls, one is dead, and the other two are in hospital seeking treatment.

   I wanted to know how people were fighting this and went through the comment section of news channels pages which posted this news. They stuck an immense fear in me. Most of them are arguing like why are you blaming my state? Why are you accusing my religion? These happen in other regions and religions as well, post about them and other shitty comments. I don’t know how these people call themselves humans.

   No one is bothered that a girl who has never seen life, has lost her life. Everyone is busy defending their religion and region. News channels are doing circus with celebrities as some celebrities are involved in a drug case, and NCB is investigating the same. Frankly, we are the reason why news channels are like this. They get all types of orgasms on gossip on celebrity news. 

   No one cared to spread the awareness of rape while the poor Manisha was on her death bed battling for life. They have lost all kinds of respect as journalists and reporters, especially during the pandemic where they are doing useless circus since June. They have nothing left to lose, so they keep looping the useless debates and gain TRP.

   So what can we do to tackle this problem? India is the second most populated country in the world, so if you think sex is a “taboo”, sorry to burst your bubble, it is not. We have the highest population density per square Kilometre in the world, so let us come back to reality. We should give sexual education to children as early as possible. The faster they get educated, the better.

   Men who think rape is “consensual act” should be counselled by psychologists. When a rape occurs, the criminal must be on media, and psychologists should do a psycho-therapy session on them, and people should watch it. By listening to the thoughts of the rapist, we can identify the potential criminals around us and send them to counselling. 

   Everyone says there must be strict laws on the rapists they must get severe punishments. They are right; the law must be strong so that the victims get justice. But we need to create a system where there is no crime committed. No matter how strong the law is, these kinds of crimes keep happening. So if we attack the grass-root level and change the mindsets of the people, we don’t need strong laws as people will be aware and there will be less or no crimes. 

   Instead of “Beti Bachao” (save the girl child) it should be “Beta Padao.” (educate the boy child). A girl doesn’t need any protection or special laws, and they never demanded it. All they ask is not to give an animal look when they are walking down the street and not to behave like monsters when they mind their own business. We should never say to a girl not to go alone, but we should tell the boys that not to stare at them, tease them or behave like a lunatic.

  In the end, stop blaming the victim when such hideous crimes occur. It is never the women’s fault when rape occurs. It is always the men’s fault. Let us hope that the mentality of all the men changes one day and these ghastly crimes come to an end. 

Find out what’s your lucky number!

“Hey! Anitha,

I am pleased to inform you that you are going to get all the good luck soon!

Do you know? I have been dreaming about you for three days now. We don’t even know each other, but I saw visions about you in my dreams. You were happy, rich and filled with the treasure of everything you ever wanted in your life. I was so pleased to see it.

Then I thought Anitha; this vision came to me for a reason. It found me so that I can make it possible for you to receive the fortune ultimately. This is yours, Anitha. You deserve it, all of it and I am here to make it possible for you to receive it on time—enough of the bad and sad days you had. You are in debt of money, and this fortune can lead you to the happiest part of your life. Imagine what all you can do with the money and wealth. You can build a mountain. You will soon receive a check Anitha. All you have to do is accept my invitation and request to connect with you. Click here to read the full message. I am here to help. Please let me take you to your good fortune.”

Ben: Mary, please send this message to given e-mail Ids. But do not forget to change the name of the person. I have just written this one as an example. Also do not forget to add the CTA(Call to action) as Connect with me personally and get the complete wealth at just 20$.

Mary: But Ben, the same message for everyone, do you think it will work?

Ben: I am quite sure of the idiocy of people, Mary.

Mary: How are you so sure about it?

Ben: Okay. I will tell you a small story.

“This story happened a few years back. There was a girl who was in search of job and money. She was very desperate about getting settled. Though she applied for many jobs, sadly, she didn’t get calls from good companies. The girl used to check her mailbox every day in the hope of a call from a good company. She even asked many friends for help. One day, in conversation with a friend, she said, “Man! I am not getting any job. I got so many awards and so much appreciation while I was at college. But I don’t know what happened to me now!” The guy replied, “Hey! Why don’t you go to a fortune teller so that he can help you get some good luck?”

She doubtfully asked, “Do you think that can help?” He said, “Of course! See, I wasn’t feeling well last year, and my mom took me to a fortune teller, and he said that I would be fine this year and gave me this stone of luck. Look, I am fine now!” So the girl agreed and started searching for fortune-tellers online. She saw something called ‘Christin fortune telling-Get your luck spell for exams, career, life, marriage, love, sex and money.’ When she opened that site, she saw a questionnaire and after filling that she got her spell. She tried it for a few days, but it didn’t seem to work. One day morning, she woke up dizzy and opened her mailbox. And her eyes suddenly started glowing. There it was! The e-mail she was looking for. 

“Eureka! You won billions of money. Just get in contact with me, and this complete money can be yours for sure. All I want is for you to have this luck and all you need to give me is just 10$.” The girl started screaming in joy, and she replied back immediately. She checked out the amount and came in contact with the fortune teller. The fortune-teller asked her to do a few things on a daily basis to be able to win that amount. The girl agreed and listened to whatever the fortune teller had to say. Each day in desperation and hope, she kept doing whatever has been said to her and years passed by.”

Mary: Oh, my God! What happened to that girl later? Did she get the money?

Ben: You didn’t ask the girls’ name, by the way!?

Mary: Yes! Who is it? And how do you know all this?

Ben: It is the girl that’s standing in front of you right now; it is me.

Mary: Whhhhhhhaaaat!? Seriously?

Ben: Yes. Sadly or LUCKILY!

Mary: Can’t believe it. By the way, what was your friends’ health condition that was treated?

Ben: Oh! That fellow had anaemia.

Models become actresses and heirs become actors

We all talk about how nepotism is prevalent in the film and media. But there is also the other misconception around cinema, to bring models into the movies. Models are good looking, and they would look great in front of the camera, so Indian directors prefer models over people who can act. People think acting is simple, pretending a few facial expressions. But that is false. Bringing in models just because they are good looking is equally bad as bringing in actors because of their family heritage. An actor is someone who acts. And the term acting is the biggest oxymoron there ever is. To act is not to act but to live in the role. A person who is good at acting is a bad actor because acting is not about acting out but feeling the moment as it is real. It is a skill, and it is out of syllabus for modelling agencies. And it most possibly not a genome that passes through heritage!

Models and relatives of already existing actors usually think acting is all about pretending emotions. Few are an exception, but if you look at the majority of those actor turned models, they only know to pretend a bunch of expressions. And in every film they star, they are same, giving the same expressions in all the movies regardless of their role in the film. They are just bad actors because they are acting and not living in part. Living in character is not an additional skill for acting; it is what acting means. Because of sons, brothers, sisters and models entering acting without any prior training or proper knowledge about acting, ‘living in the role’ became a unique feature, and the one who has it gets treated like a special actor.

man standing on stage
Actors in a theater
Photo by Ruca Souza on Pexels.com

But it is the primary qualification for anyone to act in the first place. Now the films are crowded with such people who are not even qualified to play any character. If you watch behind the scenes of a foreign film, you will understand that if any actor failed to live the role, that scene gets added to bloopers and they are made into a memorable video calling ‘so and so actor broke character’. The fans made it even hell in India that, they demand the director to put specific songs and specific dialogues referring to their real-life presence. But if their real-life presence is referred to in a film, how are they even actors? Directors have even started writing stories that match the real-life character of the actors to satisfy their fans. This is why people who want to become actors go to modelling agencies instead of acting schools. How handsome does Joe Pesci look? Can you compare our so called ‘handsome’ actors’ method of acting with Pesci’s? You can’t!

This thoughtless process is how models and heirs have dragged the art called film to the dump. They even have started calling the movies as an ‘industry’. ‘Telugu film industry, Tamil film industry’. Since when did filmmaking become an industry? Why are Indian filmmakers cutting down the art in film and only concentrating on the commercial aspects of a movie? A film is an act of real-life incidents or imagined incidents. You can do a lot of things with a film. Primarily, you make a film to tell a story to convey an emotion. But making films to satisfy an actor’s fans and earn some dough, is cheating the profession. You are not a director just because you have directed a movie. You are a director if you know how to make a film. You do not know how to make a movie; you know the method to satisfy fans and earn money. You are a businessman, and yes, the word industry fits right for you. The things you are making are no films but just montages of fan service. Don’t call them movies and don’t call your ideas of promoting that shit as a vision.

Fans going gaga
Photo by Wendy Wei on Pexels.com

Let film be a film! Hiring models to do acting is like hiring a dental doctor to perform brain surgery!

Hey Sad Guy, Not Today!

Hate when people say let go of all the negativity; like negativity is some force or energy that I can shed off. Wish it was that easy! Ironically it is the people that put the negativity there in the first place. I want to call this negativity as a ‘mood’. This negativity they talk about is a bad mood, and you need to keep away from it to have a good day because it is good days and multiple of them that forms a good life. 

What ‘good’ is depends on one’s definition of what ‘bad’ is. If you know what’s wrong for you, you should avoid things that make you feel bad for the rest of your day. Unfortunately for us, multiple aspects make sure of spoiling your day. It is like someone coding a few bad mood inducers in a day, trying to mess up. All you got to do is to be resilient to such inducing agents. 

Such agents can be objects that remind you of bad memories or can be people who are already having a bad day. You can avoid looking at and going to the items that make you feel bad. But it is unfair to say “get lost” to a person who is having a bad day. It is in human nature to go and console those people in sorrow.

You can console them if you want to, but it’s not that you are a bad person if you don’t. It is a choice, and if you choose to console them, it is not that you are good, it’s just that you prefer to comfort sad people. Everyone has ‘sad guys’ in their life. These sad guys are the inducing agents of bad mood. They don’t know that they are doing that, they are in sorrow themselves, but their grief passes on through their facial expressions, responses and words. Words of a person in distress, given the right vocabulary, can make every listener sad.

woman in gray tank top
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

So, when someone told you to let go of all the negativity, they indirectly mean to dump these bad mood-inducing objects and people. They may not mean that, but it is the process behind letting the negativity go. In real life, we have energies that make us work, but this positivity/negativity are not one of those scientific energies. They are a figure of speech meaning mood. Let us not consider vibes as some invisible waves transmitting from minds of people, but let us assume vibes to be words, responses and reactions of people. 

If you see a person in sad expression, you would at least feel like asking them what’s wrong, depends on you if you don’t. But you at least think ‘Why are they sad?’. You drift away thinking about what might have made them sad, and you keep on relating it to your life, reminding you of your own set of painful or bad memories. It might trigger sadness in you; hence the vibes passed. Butterfly effin’ effect! That butter eating kid with the bad mood in California can create a chain of bad moods till Syria and make a militant blast himself! With the internet and sharing thoughts, it is even more possible..

To these sad guys that make our day terrible by being sad, it’s not your mistake, but you should be aware what your mood makes you speak and how those words impact the listener’s mood. You are not ‘vibing’ through invisible waves of energy, but you are passing on bad mood through your facial expressions and your blabbering lips. All you can do is telling the sad guy not to be sad, offering them a solution. Yet, it is their call to take the solution or stop being sad.

You can’t just vibe out the sad guy the way they vibed you into a bad mood. But you can help them kill their sadness gradually, and it might help you get back on track with your ‘positive’ mood. This help is to feel good for yourself, and there is nothing noble about it. But if you choose not to help there is still a chance that you are in a bad mood, thinking about your own set of memories triggered because of that sad guy in your life. You need to understand that if you can not help the sad guy, and if there is nothing you can do to make them positive; you need to drop the trials. You should stop trying and care about your own mood. Your failure of a trial should not make you sad. Because if that made you miserable, you are a ‘sad guy’ in someone else’s life.

This is how the chain works, passing bad moods, being a sad guy in someone’s life. It is not voluntary, and it is not a choice to get low. But how you react to a situation is your call. After you receive an event, it might trigger sadness, happiness or thousand other emotions, but how you react is a choice. Not right at that moment, because at that moment you might respond in an emotional rush. When you are in an emotional rush, you should let it out by either speaking out or acting it out. If you hold on to that emotion, it carries forward throughout the day, and again you become the sad guy.

Not finding an outlet to let your bad mood out, makes you loathe about it all day and you end up moaning, whining and being a guy that speaks out negative words. You even react and respond negatively to almost everything. These responses hurt people, and if they didn’t let that out, they become you, the ‘sad guy’!

We need to break the chain of passing on the bad mood. A bad mood is attractive because it adds some weight to your character. You think it gives you some definition, but it won’t. For breaking the chain, you need to be aware of your mood, reactions and expressions. Do not suppress your inner emotional rush; that is not what I’m trying to say here. Ironically, suppressing your emotions will make you whiny and sad. Act when you want to act, let it all out. Do not carry the burden of emotions and feelings that you can’t lift anymore. Be open and expressive about your feelings, make sure every emotion is justified right, and you won’t carry it forward. Avoid the sad guy’s sadness impacting your mood. Even if you console them, you need not take it personally. 

Tell the sad guy of your life, “Not today!”

The Gamble Of Precious Lives.

The ongoing discussion in India is about JEE and NEET exams. As there is a pandemic around the world, people have divided themselves on conducting or postponing the exams. But are we debating on the correct premise? Let’s find out.

Let us rely on numbers and data as they don’t lie. They say the facts whether we like it or not. Total medical seats in India are 1,18,316 in which, NEET marks allocate 85% of them and 15% by management quota. The total number of JEE seats are 39425 in which there is no management quota.

If you look at the number of students applied for JEE and NEET, the seat to student ratio is out of the roof. The number of seats available under NEET for 2020 is 76,928 for which a whopping 15.97 lakh students have enrolled. By the math, approximately twenty-one students are competing for one seat.

Same goes for JEE, the total number of seats available are 12,463 for which 8,58,273 have applied. So approximately seven students are competing for one seat. So if we combine both the streams, around 23 lakh students won’t get admission for NEET or JEE.

According to the official government websites of NEET and JEE, over 85% of students have downloaded their admit cards and are ready to give the exam. These are the numbers and the official data we have as per government and news channels.

If we look at the other side of the numbers, the situation is terrible, according to the same government data, 28 students commit suicide every day! Most of them are due to academic-related issues. The 2014-18 period saw a 26% increase in suicides compared to the previous five years.

The increase rate of seats and colleges is a snail walk compared to the number of students enrolling to write the examination. By the above numbers, 23 Lakh students are risking the lives of themselves and their family members to attend the exam.

The new education policy is a ray of hope in the darkness. If implemented correctly, it paves the way for the betterment of the next generation in all the aspects. It reduces the gap between getting trained and getting educated.

In the end, we needed a pandemic to realise the importance of the health of our future generations in physical form. Even now, we are not caring about their mental health. If we had the right debates and requested the government to increase colleges and improve our education rather than pointing out at the student and killing them mentally, those many precious lives would not succumb to educational pressure.

Congratulations! It’s a bartender!

Being born in India is like being born with a head tag that reads out one’s career. Right when the baby drops out or sometimes even before the sperm has hit the egg, they are destined to become something. “Hey, I want to have kids” both the parents talk. But it’s a bit different here, it’s like “Shit my favourite uncle died of cancer! Let’s have sex and give birth to doctor?” 

The kid learns unscrewing a bolt, and the parents are already proud. They are pleased because they want to make the kid a mechanical engineer, and this unscrewing somehow makes them feel like it’s progress. Doesn’t make sense? Shouldn’t either! “I always wanted to make you a doctor, son” Come, one dad, I always wanted to be born in a mansion with 24 servants. I couldn’t choose my parents, neither can you determine what happens to me.

When I was a kid, I always dreamed of holding guns and standing at the border, chanting slogans of my country. If the tables had turned and my country was to be vanished and occupied, I would still be holding a gun, but I would be called a militant. Career is a joke! Professions are just labels we created to make things easy; they are only labels.

 I felt relieved when my schooling was finished. Didn’t even know what those subjects had to do with my life, but I was promised that they would somehow help me. I happened to visit an uncle who lectured me for an hour. He said I should take engineering as my bachelor’s degree and also study my masters in some foreign university. I never knew why people would do those things. Like studying in international institutions, as they cost a lot! I thought they were going for the quality of education. But it was only later that I realised they needed quality of certification and not professional training.

An MA History from Danayya Institute from Dilshuknagar looks blech. But the same certificate with beautiful words and designs looks attractive. Who doesn’t “Woah” at a guy who had done ‘Masters in Liberal Arts’ at Stanford University? Did they feed him with diamonds? I don’t think so. But you can definitely buy diamonds with the expense of studying outside. 

Many people talk only about what they studied in the US or the UK. They won’t tell you how they paid their tuition fee. “What are you doing in the UK, Kaushik?” “Ah! MS! The US not the UK!” they say. They won’t tell you how many drinks they served to the customer as a bartender. They won’t tell you how many windshields they have wiped to be able to buy the flight ticket home. Their struggle is real, and their pain is genuine. Just because a parent’s uncle died of cancer, they decided to donate their kid to health services. They had the kid brainwashed from school and pushed towards medicine. 

While you sit here watching TV and telling your neighbours and relatives that your son is studying ‘Doctor’ in the US, he is cleaning pukes out of bar tables! Congratulations, It’s a bartender! The destined doctor you gave birth to had to see a hard life in a place that is not home because of your little fantasy. You could have instead donated your sperm if you wanted to help people medically! Maybe give something once in a while to hospitals? No! You had to have a kid that does what you can not!

Somewhere after realising that he actually wants to become a dancer, your son has already spent half of his life satisfying your doctor-doctor fantasy. You dream of your son becoming a top surgeon, buying you a car and a luxury villa. It is not wrong to imagine such things. But why doesn’t it strike to you that your kid has the mind to have some dreams too? What if he/she is dreaming of singing on a stage? What if she wants to be a stripper? That surely is a possibility!

Have a kid, if you want a kid, or your condom broke! Your dead uncle is dead. People who want to become an engineer will become an engineer. People who want to treat your madness will become a therapist. Just because you can’t fix your flat tyre, don’t have kids and make them a mechanic.

I’m A DINOSAUR.. And You Are A Stupid.

“As I see that your star sign is Aquarius, you are a rebel at heart, the air around you demands authority over everything. You are always free spirited. You can be identified by your unusual hobbies and interests. You are ruled by Uranus, the planet that governs innovation, technology, and surprising events.”

Says Sharma as he flips a page by licking his finger with an erotic charisma as he speaks to Keshava, an 11-year-old kid. He looked at Keshava with soulful eyes and smiled. His smile is as free as those dandelions in fields, as soft as the rose petals feel on cheeks, as delightful as a kid’s giggle, as beautiful as beyond human senses!

“You are going to do amazing things with your unconventional thinking. You have high leadership skills. With your rational mind, you will try to overcome everything. You may end up losing people with extreme rationality. But you will end up finding perfect people for your life.”

Continues Sharma as he is staring at his book as he is about to kiss it. If the book were a person, it would blush at his look. He closes his eyes, raises an eyebrow; his expression is like his brain is about to have an orgasm. He pushes the stagnant air as he leans forward to touch Keshava’s head as if he is about to grab a shining lotus from the sparkling river water.

Keshava goes home with the dreams of becoming a world leader one day with the confidence boost he just got. He goes back to his ordinary life dreaming about his ruler Uranus. He goes to school with a fresh look on his face. When his friends ask for the reason, he couldn’t describe the gasless object floating among the beautiful cosmos in the oblivion. Years pass by, and Keshava’s rationality keeps growing with age and slowly understands the concept of Astrology. He understands that he was lied and feels terrible.

One day Keshava is running his fingers on a keyboard as he is composing an orchestra. He is softly moving the mouse as he was looking straight into the eyes of his loved one and patting head. Then a girl walks in. She was just there, close to him, and her eyes were like dew-kissed flowers. Her walk is like a swan moving in the sparkling river. She looks at him, and he feels that his knees are giving out and nearly fell, held himself up against a chair.

“Hello My name is Shruti, I’m new to the company. You are Keshava right? I heard a lot about you. I’m an Aries and that must explain a lot about me lol.”

Keshava startles for a moment. He comes back to reality and says “Yes It tells a lot, it says that you believe in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s possible location relative to arbitrarily defined stars at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality. It tells me that you don’t use your mind to think. It says that you gave your life for stars to design and you have a boring life. It means that you see only 12 or 13 constant shapes with stars. In that way, I belong to a Dinosaur-shaped horoscope and you are stupid.”

Keshava says this smirks and walks away.

Let us look at science for a bit, Airies which is the first constellation is 290 light-years away from Earth. Astrologers tell Jupiter will enter that constellation, and that will have an impact on you. Jupiter is 648.04 million km away from the Earth. And a most essential and fundamental part of this, Jupiter is a freaking non-living object! It cannot wear a jetpack and enter Aries and come back. It is impossible.

In the end, stars or planets don’t have any impact on our personality and our actions. We are responsible for our actions and character. Do not believe in this pseudoscience and live your life to the fullest and never restrict yourselves.

The Difference Of Living And Leading

The Human mind is very mysterious,

With loads of emotions and thoughts;

It is always curious to learn things.

It helps to think and get elegant solutions,

But we always overthink and create complex problems.

The definition of life is a reality to be experienced,

One of the most vital things required to live is emotions;

Without emotions, life cannot be balanced.

Two of the most important emotions are happiness and sadness.

Instead of expressing sadness as an emotion, we get addicted,

When emotion becomes an addiction, it is madness.

Sadness is nothing but a situation, which didn’t go as planned,

When we feel sad, we share it with our loved ones;

Some times they get bored, that doesn’t make them bad,

You want them to listen to your tears, without expecting solutions;

But if we don’t accept the moment, none can change our mood.

In the end,

We may feel dwelling with thoughts in the calmness of night may give a sense of peace and understanding to life. The only difference between living a life and leading a life is accepting the moment. The squeaky cry of the heart may be unheard at night, but the musical sound of birds chirping in the morning will always give the energy to start everything fresh.

Annoyance of submission, halting the progression!

What are we? What is our purpose? We don’t have answers for that! But what we are trying to do is to progress in life. And what is progression if you don’t move forward? Is time linear or circle? We don’t know for sure. But what is circular is your thought of mind. What you face, you return to that, and you become that again. Your sadness, it makes you come back to it, rot in it. Because I guess that is what it is! You get victimised, and you become the perpetrator either for someone else or for yourself. First, there is a catalyst, someone or something saddens you, making you rot in your dark hole. But for the next time, when you think that you are out. You somehow will start finding your way back to that stink, by hurting yourself for finding ways to get hurt once again. I want to call it emotional masochism, and you can consider the following article as my case study, maybe.

Foreword: Sometimes, I can’t help myself becoming too objective by treating everyone around me as subjects for my little experimentations and observations. Wish, I could stop that, but that helps me be objective when I’m faced with unexpected twists of life. So you can see that I’m using the word “I” a lot, to make it personal. Because this write-up is ‘me’ and telling ‘you’ directly about the things I’ve observed.

Case of Stockholm Syndrome:

We see ourselves submitting to a lot of things; cigarettes, coffee, tea, pleasure, control and sadness. Those last two might look odd one out, but no! Looking at multiple cases and subjects, I have come to the conclusion that there are people who submit themselves and love to be in someone else’s control. They can’t be judged for not sounding logical, because they have grown fond of that oppression; they need that. They need a dictator to control, abuse and treat them as property. 

I have seen many women get attracted to the ‘macho’, oppressive guys. Is it dad complex? Are they looking for someone to replace their overprotective dads? It sure is a probability! But regardless of what complex it is, few really return back to the very person who has hit them pretty bad. They also seem to get defensive when anyone tries to protect the girl from beatings. It’s almost like they are craving for that abuse. Is it not masochism? I never really thought we had so many masochists around us, but here we go, almost every 3 out of 5 women I have run into since my observation had begun were such masochists who crave to be submissive.

I was judgemental, and those words they speak always shock me. It’s not like they tell me directly, but their behaviour, it can be deduced to masochism. It is nothing but Stockholm syndrome because they seem to get a liking towards the abuser, and sometimes surprisingly miss the chokehold on their neck and spanking on the butt. 

Of course, the majority of the subjects whom I have seen suffering from this syndrome, are women, there are men too. Some men want to be controlled by very leading and manipulative women. They get attracted to the woman who validates their every move. These men cannot and will never dare to do anything without their pseudo-MAMA’s approval. No matter if you try to help them drag out, they find their way back to the claws of such dictators. 

Case of emotional masochism:

Now, this is a peculiar case, and I’m one of the subjects too. I can say the number of emotional masochists is a lot higher, and every 2 out of 5 humans are such. They don’t have anything, they are suffering from ‘normal-life’ syndrome. I was affected too, it is boring, and the boredom kills. We, the subjects, search for the meaning of life in different places, we find nothing, as there is nothing. But, we crave for depth, a character arc in our stories. We want our lives to not be flat and something that has a meaning, we are almost obsessed with this search. So much that we find the most comfortable way out.

Depression! No, we don’t have clinical depression, not at the beginning of course. But that is the climax of the path we head to. Somewhere in our life, we, the subjects understood that sadness can be easily achieved. In fact, it is the sadness that made us awake and coming out of it, we began this hunt for meaning. We had a purpose, some definition for ourselves when we were sad and loathing. We had reasons for being like this. We had everything to blame, and when we are not worried, there is nothing but ourselves to blame for things we do. 

A friend of mine hinted to me about this ‘addiction to get depressed’. I instantly got connected to it, I know that I’m heading that way. I already had clues about myself liking the sadness. When I’m sad, I feel I had some depth. It was when I’m messy and scratching the un-groomed beard that I felt like an enlightened being. It made me feel superior to others; like no one knows what I’m going through. It was false, everyone is going through their own shit and feels the same way. I only knew that I liked to get sad until I came out of the thought.

When I was sunk in it deeply, I had the tendency to surround myself with all the tragic news, sad memories, betrayals and overthinking. It took me months to recover from this sort of emotional masochism that I had become. I still find the remnant residual waste of sad-craving ideas in my mind. It cries “the moment is here for you to get sad, go cry” once in a while. I just try to divert myself or make jokes about it because it will run away. You can be a self-loathing sadness craving person almost at every corner, few have periods of such phases once in a while, and few are always craving for sadness. 

I cannot be a judge and say that this is ‘wrong’. If it gives them a purpose to live, maybe we should just let them be. But it is really annoying to be a consoling person for the guy who is emotionally masochistic. And also the guy who always tries to save people from abusive relationships. I have been both, and some people were annoyed consoling me when I was an emotional-masochist. You don’t need to stress yourself, give thoughts about them. Neither should you empathise and try to change them because they won’t. You can hunt them, but it is up to them to change. I changed because I want some other things in life. If you are one of those masochists and you feel like doing some other stuff, do change for the sake of yourselves. 

The minds of those have been burdened and tired, those who have tried to protect these masochists. They must have spent sleepless nights thinking they have to save these people. This is yet another problem, the saviour complex. This is not masochism but an equally irritating super-hero syndrome. But at least, these super-saviours don’t halt progression, they boost it but at the cost of their peace of minds. One thing I want to say to both saviours and masochists is that the progress of life is what we want. Being sad, being in an abusive relationship it makes you stay in the same place for too long. Too long that you almost waste your entire life before you even realise that you can do a lot more things with your life than getting choked or walking in a dark abyss. It takes you nowhere, that path is circular, a void where the end and the beginning are just a hole. All you need to know is that there is a hole, and you can just jump back to the world. Do not take the easy way out, you can do a lot of things with your life. 

Let’s talk about more submissive ideologies and phases in our next article. If you are familiar with more such humiliation-craving masochistic ideas to live, you can comment or mail us at penfluky@gmail.com.

Why not a baby girl?

When someone is married, the next mission of the couple is to give birth. A couple shouldn’t have any other thoughts rather than giving birth. Go hell with their bonding, marriage life and financial stability. When it comes to the matter of birth, choice of gender has a lot of influence as if they are responsible for making it.

In the same land we live, do you know a newborn baby girl is killed by stuffing rice in her mouth due to breathing suffocation. A girl child is killed on June 22nd 2020, A girl child was killed by her grandmothers(both mothers of parents) by throwing her into well, and the sad part is her mother was convinced to do it.

This is the latest case that had happened I quoted, and It’s been arising from many years. Even though in this 21st century, People deeply crave for boy child in their deep shit brains. When I studied many cases regarding female infanticides, the sole reason was the economic burden to raise a girl.

If you think dowry is the cause of this thinking its “NO”. In India there are many cases where Bride and her family forcibly give dowry, and also Grooms are marrying without a dowry.

No, dowry and financial burden are not the reason.

The real mistake is in inferior thinking towards the female community. the real problem is we don’t let them fight, and we complain about them as weak. You should let your ladies fight in this world. If you treat them as fragile, you start fearing due to them which ultimately don’t make you want them.

If you are feared that someone will harass them, Train them in self-defence.
If you feel that someone will ask dowry to marry your daughter tell them that your daughter is equally able to their son.
If you think that she has to depend on her husband’s money, make her educate and self-reliant.
If you feel that she will elope with someone she loves without telling you, then give her freedom of speech and freedom to live.

I could give you millions of examples that can tell you about how ladies are outperforming your so called “VANSH KA CHIRAAG”. but issue is all about the co-existence.

Lastly, stop treating woman as if they are some jewel or treasure that you need to take care of, and you need to provide security to them. They are not your social status symbol. They are the reason for the existence of the world.

This small change in you can bring a difference in the community.

“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”