Stories – Penfluky

The Exciting Part Of Love!

People ask what is the exciting part of love?
Is it a feeling that is beyond and above?
What makes it unique and special?
Does it make a person go irrational?

Love is one of the lovely gifts of human evolution,
You don’t need anything extra to join this institution.
Every moment feels like a gorgeous sunrise,
Every minute feels like an awesome surprise.

It makes you feel secure,
It always acts as a cure.
It makes you confident,
It makes you feel sufficient.

You won’t notice the changes in a day,
Every moment feels like Yay!
Every second seems very precious,
Every moment of yours becomes ambitious.

Every hour of your day is the exciting part,
It looks like you are feeling a beautiful piece of art.
You want to share everything with your loved one,
When you are not able to, the sadness is next to none.

Everything feels like it is in the right place,
Every second passing by feels like an embrace.
It is a beautiful feeling that ever exists,
You will know what a genuine smile is.

I always had big dreams on the same,
Love is always in my frame.
It was exciting till I had it,
Then I had an emotional submit.

Nothing hurts more than a love break,
It feels like a huge heartache.
Nothing around you makes sense,
Everything around you feels worse.

You will tend to sit idle and tend to do nothing,
Every second you won’t talk to them feels like a sting.
The feelings hurt and you start overthinking,
Your happiness and smile start shrinking.

The exciting part of love is to feel the essence of it,
It embraces you and makes you commit.
The journey might appear to be futile,
But the destination will always be fruitful.

Loosen up a bit in the ocean’s breeze

How is your day?” That simple question made her speechless. She wasn’t prepared for it. It’s silly how she can do everything for others and can read people’s needs before they even say it out loud yet she is clueless when it comes to her. She thought for a bit and said “it’s good. Thank you.” Rajan smiled and asked “Good to hear. How did you spend your day?” “Oh it’s actually very productive. I made my kids their favourite milkshakes, got books for my friend, helped the neighbour with his boxes and stuff, got new glasses for my mom….” . “No Bhavana” Rajan cut her off and continued “I meant what did you do for yourself. You know ‘me time’, it’s your birthday after all, loosen up, hello?.”

Bhavana looked at him with puzzled expression and started laughing as he said something hilarious. “Haha you know I am a 45 years old woman with two kids right? Why would I celebrate my birthday like a kid?” Rajan studied her face, he saw a bit of pain in her smile. It stung him. “You are as clueless as when we were in school. Who told you to celebrate like a kid? Celebrate like an adult, silly!” He said it as he poked her head gently. “Ouch! Don’t be silly. You know I never celebrated anything in my life. It’s just how it is. It’s my kids turn now. I would rather be happy seeing them enjoy their lives than wasting things up on me.”

Rajan took a deep breath and asked “cigarette?” Bhavana looked at it with a spark in her eyes for a second then hesitated “No thankyou. As I said I am not a kid anymore. These aren’t for me.” Rajan took a puff “it’s never bad to loosen up a bit. Cheat day is for everyone in everything.”

Bhavana is staring at the beach. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here with her long lost best friend on her birthday instead of doing chores and fulfilling her roles at home but she does know she is feeling a bit uncomfortable and guilty because of it and she doesn’t know why.

Rajan tapped on her shoulder and said “earth to Bhavana! You zone out when you hate listening to something. I am sorry for making you uncomfortable but you don’t have to do things just because I told you to. Chill.”

Bhavana took the cigar from him and took a puff. She smiled genuinely and realised why she is feeling guilty and uncomfortable because she isn’t used to feeling happy for herself. After a long time she did a thing for herself without any reason.

“Loosen up a bit huh?” She looked at him and continued “I should do this more often. How about an adult party?” Rajan grinned and said “more cigarettes then.” Bhavana said “nope.” Rajan pouted “alright what about 4 cigars? “Absolutely not. I will cook and you clean that’s the party.” She said with a straight face. “Do I have to sign for your package of cleaning and hanging out with your kids just to party with you? He pouted.”Do you have any problem with that?” Bhavan said while getting up. “Nope, but about that cigarette-” a smile curled up on her mouth she cut him off and said “shut up and walk me home.”

Outburst Of Emotions and Uncontrollable Tears.

I would always hear people saying phrases like “outburst of emotions”, “unable to control emotions” so on and so forth. I thought this is silly and boy was I wrong!

It is the spring season in 1996, I was born to a couple in a small town. Both of my parents suffered from substance abuse. They would do anything to get drugs in their hand.

They sold almost everything in the house to get that high. We didn’t even have food to eat once a day. I used to lick the plates, my competitors would usually be roaches.

I got habituated to such life. My parents forced me to beg for food. I used to wander the streets begging for food. The food I got by begging is usually stolen by my parents.

Even then I had no outburst of emotions. It might be the environment I grew up in, but I didn’t feel something was wrong. I have always had this passion to study in life.

Years passed and I’m now 6 years old. My parents sold the house as they had many debts around the town. They cleared the debts and we moved to a rented home.

I thought they will finally give up on drugs and we would have a happy life. How stupid of me to think like that? Few days passed and my parents started taking drugs again.

After few days, we are out of money completely and my begging is not enough to support them. My parents did what any abuser would do. They sold me in human trafficking.

They told me that I need not beg, I can play with other kids and have a good time and I was glad to hear that. Some guys came and took me away from my parents.

I felt a bit bad no outburst of emotions, I knew I was gonna miss my parents. After ten to fifteen minutes, I stopped feeling sad. They took me to a huge house.

I entered the house and saw many of the people there around my age. There are girls, boys everyone just walking around the house. One individual came down the stairs and saw me.

This individual looked me in the eyes and sighed to take me in. They took me into a room and said this is where I will stay. They have also asked me not to lock the door from inside.

An hour passed by, and some guy came into the room. He is not walking in a straight line and is smelling very bad. He saw me, gave an evil smile and started walking towards me.

I was scared and starting walking back. This guy came rushing and caught me and thrown me into the bed. He fell on me and started tearing my clothes.

I started screaming and it looks like no ears can hear my cry. He has torn all my clothes and he started removing his clothes. I tried to run away, but he slapped me.

The slap was so hard that I fell on the ground unconscious. I woke up after some time and I see that the guy who did this to me is sleeping right next to me.

I have no clothes on my body and I’m bleeding below my waist. The pain is unbearable and I’m not feeling my legs. I’m trying very hard to move away from this monster.

At this point, I still don’t have an outburst of emotions, but tears were rolling out. At the age where a child cant even identify an emotion, I experienced the most realistic sadness.

This happened to me for the next 12 years. All of us in this building are raped or abused at least twice a day. After 12 years of abuse, we finally managed to escape that hell.

Government of the state ordered to search the house for any illegal activity. They searched and found this and arrested all of them. We are released and asked to live a good life.

In these twelve years, I have got some contacts. A man promised to give me a job if I managed to escape this hell. I went to meet him and he fulfilled his promise.

He gave me a job and I need to find a location to stay. I found a local listing that said roommate needed and I called the number and they have asked to come and visit the house.

I went to visit the house and the location is delightful and I knocked on the door and an individual opened the door. They greeted me very warmly and showed me the house.

I liked the house and decided to take it. I decided to move on the next Sunday and I informed the same. They agreed and took my details. The rent is also very affordable.

I moved into the house, the individual prepared lunch for me. I moved my items into the room and sat down for lunch. We had a conversation and here is how it went.

Me: Thanks for lunch, may I know your name?

Them: No problem at all, of course, you can, it is Alex.

Me: Nice name and the food is delicious.

Alex: Thank you! I even have cheesecake as a dessert, let me get it.

This feels different as I never experienced this kind of care from anyone and had different feelings running in my mind, not an outburst of emotions but it feels good to see this change in me.

I unboxed everything and organised my room. We had a lovely dinner at night and went to bed. Everything that happened with me just played in front of my eyes.

I couldn’t control my tears and wept very badly. After some time, I went to sleep. I woke up the next day, made some coffee, got ready and started to the office.

I came home for lunch and Alex has already made lunch. We sat down for lunch and started talking.

Alex: So how was your day?

Me: It is good, I like my new job.

Alex: Glad to hear that! Hey, can I ask you something?

Me: Sure, what’s up?

Alex: Did you cry last night?

I was in shock, on how could Alex know. I set my tone and in a low voice, I said.

Me: N….no.

Alex: But the sheets are wet and wet sheets don’t lie.

They came near me, took my hand and said.

Alex: Just tell me what happened, I’m here to listen.

I couldn’t control my tears or outburst of emotions. I hugged Alex and told them everything. That felt very good. If this is how an outburst of emotions feels, I would have done this long ago.

Emotions of the baboon and its pat on the back

She left. I am standing there at the railway station. I feel like running behind the train like in the films, but that would be dumb, I guess. Ah! I should just shut the fuck up and move already but I’m just looking at the moving train. What am I expecting? Are these my emotions speaking? I don’t know. Do I want her to cinematically bend form the door and wave her hand? How foolish of me. But I don’t know, it would have felt good.

I started walking out but everything felt new. I don’t even know what’s missing. But again, I guess I want to be sad because she went away. Or am I really sad? Am I sad because I know that I should be, or am I naturally sad? It’s too hard to distinguish what comes naturally and what you bring on to yourself through observations. But can one manipulate emotions easily? Why am I even thinking this nonsense!

I held to this bus and hopped on it as I am going home. And everything is peaceful and calm because the bus is not crowded. And I began diverting myself as I seemed to be drifting along the lines of overthinking. I’m a human; a body. A mere body. I shouldn’t be giving myself up to the emotions. Because I should be reasonable. What good gives emotions? Can emotions exist without reason? Look at how dumb I was at the station, I almost cried. Emotions are dumb.

Something is distracting me and bringing me back to this world, from the world of my thoughts. Because of the whistle of the bus conductor. He somehow feels like a circus master, the passengers should dance along with his whistle. Isn’t it odd to have a conductor who checks the conduct of passengers in a bus? Can’t people behave themselves? Does he have to whistle and tell people to not stand at doors and behave in a civic manner? What are we, apes?

As I thought about apes, the ape arrives bold and most beautiful. It jumped onboard from the road. The bus is so fast and it is humanly impossible to do such a stunt. He does look like an ape too. Like a baboon that finds a banana, he looks proud for pulling such a brainless stunt. “Are you mad?” shouts the conductor and I see the baboon smiling. “Kickk” he replied and it blew my mind. He did that just to feel the kick of it!

How brainless! How uncivilised! Is this how people who just blindly follow their emotions appear? Like apes? I’m an ape too, we all are apes, but we moved away from being ape. You can not be looking like a human and behave like a monkey at the same time. As I was thinking about how dumb this ape is, it was wiping its nose using its shirt. I am disgusted at the very sight of this unhygienic stunt-freak baboon.

He smiles and looks at the girl sitting opposite to him. The seats are empty, but he won’t sit. He stands at the door, and smiles at the girl straight. Because of course, he does whatever he feels like doing. And he doesn’t give a thought about it. What if I was the girl’s family? What if I kicked him in the nuts as a result of his behavior? He doesn’t think about that probability. Because again, he just does what he wishes; a slave to his emotions. And he doesn’t control them.

Why should we control them, as a matter of fact? I’m lost. Is he happier than me because I don’t see him being guilty for drooling over a girl publicly. He isn’t bothered about how the girl feels about him. This two minute creeping gives him pleasure. He is obviously a creep, but a creep is happier than me. Does that mean I’m sad? Am I sad? I’m not, I have everything with me. I control myself!

I decide how my mind emotes. And I don’t let my emotions ride me and that makes me superior to this sweating baboon drooling over random girls. He doesn’t even care if he finds her pretty or not. I guess by his looks and behavior that he looks at every girl in the same way. He just drools over the entire gender regardless of their age or preference or looks. The extremely cis-baboon that wants what it wants and takes what it takes.

How do people express their emotions openly like that? I would never be the baboon. Because I have good control on myself. And I have been there; I once was a person who just did what my heart advised. No fucks given to the consequences, a slave to my emotions. I wouldn’t lie, it was exciting to live that way. But that’s not civic! If my actions destroy or harm someone else’s harmony even involuntarily, that’s something I can’t accept.

I have to worry about the consequences. I just have to because we should be self-aware, or what’s the purpose of living together as a society? The vibrating phone distracts me again. It’s her! I’m excited once again, I picked the call up. I killed my excitement. “Everything’s fine?” I asked. I’m waiting for her reply, she is silent. “Are you ok?” she asks. I don’t know why she asked that. Those words started doing something in my mind.

Am I okay? Weird! “What do you mean?” I asked. “Are you crying?” she asked. My throat suddenly feels heavy, I am unable to speak because of what I heard. There is a tremble in my voice, I’m unable to find words to speak. I don’t know what’s happening to me! “I’ll call you when I get home” I said forcefully and cut the call. The block in my throat started growing intensely. Something is happening right in the middle of my chest. It feels sharp and uncontrollable. My vision is growing blurry; my eyes watery. Fuck!

Am I crying? The water kept growing and the excess drop started coming out of the eye as there was no place left in my eye to hold them. Yeah, I’m crying. I’m trying to close my lids. I closed them hard, shut them! I put my both hands over my eyes, pushed my eyes so hard trying to stop crying. Don’t cry! Please! Are you crying for the sake of it? Do you really miss her? Or are you crying because you have to? You fucking idiot! You complicated piece of junk!

Suddenly a hand fell on my head and I looked at the man with my semi-teary eyes. It was the baboon. He is patting my head and moves to sit beside me. I closed my eyes again with my arms. The baboon didn’t ask me anything. Maybe it’s just because I’m a girl, but either way his touch didn’t feel bad. He kept patting and he never spoke a word. And as a result of it I felt good and I cried!

Worthless words and unheard chirps

“Say something chirpie, pleaseeee anything!” Anirudh said hopefully. He is a 6 year old little boy who is enthusiastic all the time for no reason. Once I was like that too but look what it has done to me. But that “something” hits me so hard. It’s been a while since someone asked me to say something I wish. I am silent as usual, after a while he is gone with a long face. I don’t know why he tries to make me talk this much. It’s so annoying. I drifted into sleep so I feel less horrible.

*Six months ago*

“Hey what are you doing red? I am waiting for you at home so we can go together to get some guavas, I can’t wait to taste the sweetness again,” said Pat drooling over his imagination. “I am bored of just eating. Why don’t we learn new words so we can express ourselves better?” I asked curiously.

‌”Why can’t you behave like a normal bird? I don’t know what you wanna express anything with new words. What we know is enough to express. Besides you have me. I will listen to whatever you say and I will understand and I know you will do the same for me. Isn’t it enough for you?” said Pat cheerfully.

“Ugh I know you would never understand. You say you understand me but all I see is you refusing to learn things. You are lazy and unenthusiastic. I wish I had friends who are like me and I will find them.” I flew away frustrated.

I could hear Pat trying to stop me. But I was too fast. I love my friend but he is just a normal bird who only talks about eating fruits and spending a jolly good time. I don’t like it. And I don’t agree with him about whatever words we know are enough. Words are very important to express and I will find someone like me. I got tired after reaching the city so I found a small empty spot for me to rest. After some time I felt a pat, I opened my eyes and saw a man. He offered me water and I said, “thank you.”

The man’s eyes became wide after I spoke. Guess it isn’t everyday they see a civilized and intelligent bird like me who knows a lot of words. “Wow you are talking, you will be very useful for me. As I gave you water, you owe me one lil birdy.” He then took me into his hands and put me in a cage. I was too shocked to fly away. It was too late but I thought that maybe it’s for my own good. I was tired of flying anyway. Humans know a lot of words they can teach me and I will find people who are intelligent and express things unlike my friend.

It had been a week since the man sold me to what they call a zoo. There were so many wild animals around me. It felt somewhat like home. People came to see me while I talked. They all were loving me for my intelligence. I picked on so many words and was able to say them too. It was time to go back to my stupid best friend Pat and prove him why I was right. It had been 4 months. I missed that idiot and his senseless blabbering.

It was evening when the owner came to give me snacks. I asked him to let me go as I was done with the work I came for. He chuckled and said, “you are one funny bird. Eat your snack and be a good boy.” Then he was gone. I felt the panic and uneasiness. They are going to keep me here against my will. I thought when I expressed myself with better words they would let me go but this guy wasn’t taking me seriously at all. I didn’t want to be in this cage. It was not at all delightful. I stayed just to learn, now I am bored.

I kept asking everyone to let me go in the hope that someone will understand me. But no one did. Some people got tired of me. And Some people got angry because I wasn’t saying what they wanted me to say. Some people got bored and even grew impatient. Even the people who said I am their favorite bird stopped coming because I only talked about what I want or how I felt and it was not entertaining. All I felt was regret. If no one cares or likes what I feel then there is no point in talking. So I stopped completely.

Another month passed and a little boy with his dad came to buy me. The owner said that I was useless because I didn’t talk anymore. They can buy some other bird which says a few words. But the little boy insisted on buying me. So then I got caged in a new cage. Nothing different. The boy asked me to say something daily but I didn’t. It became a boring routine now.

*Present day*

words of white bird perched on cage — Photo by Oli Sumit on Pexels.com

I wake up from my nap. There is a guava placed in front of me. Damn I miss Pat. I don’t remember since when his blabbering started to make sense to me. He said, “whatever you say with your words I will understand.” If only I wasn’t too arrogant. If only I appreciated his friendship. If only I knew you don’t need better words to express to someone who cares enough to listen. And if only I can see him again…..

“Did you eat your guava chirpie? I got for you specially from that scary uncle’s garden. I ran so fast he couldn’t catch me.” Anirudh laughs and says proudly. “How is it?” He asks me with his curious eyes. I replied, “sweet.” He grinned at me and said, “thought so! I will get you another one tomorrow,” and with that he leaves. For some reason, I feel like talking again. Maybe I will if he wants to listen to whatever I say.

Writing 101 : the beginning, middle and the end!

What’s writing? Looking at it deeply, writing is translating thoughts into words. Fitting these words, framing them into something that exactly means what your mind imagines, is exactly what writing it! Be it a tweet, a Facebook post, a script or a tagline, it is useless if it doesn’t translate your thoughts. But are there any ways to make this translation beautiful and understandable exactly as meant?

Fundamental Form of any writing:

That is why we need to understand how to write. Let’s not discuss what type of content we are writing about, because if we get to specifics, we cannot formulate writing at all. The simple and basic form for any writing is to have three parts in the body. An introduction, body and the conclusion. This is as simple as any writing in the world goes.

Introduction

Now you can add whatever you want, headers, headings, footers, or even dissect an article into multiple topics, but, there is always a beginning, a middle and the end. The introduction, or the beginning is something that makes you explain to the reader what the body of the text is going to be. You bring your readers to familiar grounds, make them understand what is the context here.

For scholarly articles, there is an abstract you write as a summary or a brief wording to make every reader understand the entire context. But in an introduction you don’t need to brief what you are going to write, but just begin it with the existing world, the familiar ground and then lift it to the unknown world, or the actual thought of your mind.

Body

Middle part is the most necessary part for writing. If you mess up the middle part, there is no understanding at all. The entire matter becomes irrelevant. Make sure that you slowly shift from the introduction to the actual matter that you want to write. And you need to do that in a very smooth way that the level of understanding shouldn’t be jerked or spiked anywhere.

The middle part is the space for you to explore and make sure that your thoughts are put in the right words. Now what are these right words and wrong words? The thing is, language allows misunderstandings and misinterpretations! To avoid misunderstandings, write as objective as possible, avoiding all the ambiguities.

Ambiguity is something like a vague statement which can mean multiple things. Like if you shouted “Call me a cab” you might be called a cab instead. Ok, that was lame, but that’s how language has gaps for ambiguity and you have to avoid vague statements in all cases. Say you were writing a script and your character scratches his head and grins while touching a scar on his head, it gives a different message.

But if you write the same scene as a character just grinning, you convey less information and the body-language of the character is left for the audience to figure out. Is he standing still and grinning? Is he dancing at the pole and grinning? The specifics! Only specifics help you convey what you want.

Conclusion

The conclusion is necessary unless you aim to continue the write-up sometime else and keep on extending it. Every write-up should be conclusive and this conclusion must be an inference of the introduction and the body. Treat the introduction as one premise and the body as another. Conclusion is something that is related and is inferred through the two premises.

If the conclusion is not in the premises and goes way beyond the premise, stating something else, it is an inconclusive write-up. The reader will not understand your write-up if it doesn’t explain what the middle part says about. One can safely say that without a conclusion, i.e, an expression of the matter (middle), body and introduction become useless.

Wrap up

Sometimes, you are bound with words, like a technical article or just a tweet. Then you have to understand that you can not take much time to establish your context in the beginning, explain it in the middle and conclude by ending it without ambiguity. All you have to do is make use of your words carefully.

When you have to tweet only a specific number of characters, each word should convey more information and on the whole, even being fewer words, it should convey as much as a full article or whatever your thought is. If it is a script, you can leave ambiguities wantedly if you want the director to figure it out showing them visually.

But if your writing is for the common readers to understand your thoughts as you write them and not as some visual, you definitely need to follow this form. This form is not a rule, but it is a mere tenet that eerie writing must adhere to. Even if you discredit it, you will still be following the form involuntarily.

There is always a beginning, a middle and an end in every form of content. That is exactly why you should be doing it better as it is unavoidable either way.

Honest Love Recital Of My Heart!

In a world full of fake people using others, I prefer people who are truthful and show honest love. It was a tiresome Friday and I finished my work.

The weekend is kicking in, not that I have some excitement, but I need not work these two days. You guessed it exactly right! I have very few people that I talk to.

Every day I work, it feels like Sisyphus rolling the stone to the top of the mountain. It just feels like I’m turning into a programmable robot without me liking it.

As Albert Camus in his book “The Myth of Sisyphus” said, “One must imagine Sisphus happy”. I stopped even imagining to imagine to be happy. It may sound weird but It is what it is.

If you feel like you are in a room, where walls are slowly closing in to crush you, you don’t have a lot of choices, do you? I’m glad that I don’t have any work to do for the next two days.

I sat on my couch and started browsing through my phone. and opened a dating app and started swiping and messaging people. I know my efficacy that none will reply.

But it is just an arrow in the darkroom. I got no replies for an hour and I got bored and was about to quit it, then something unique happened. Someone messaged me!

I couldn’t believe that someone replied to me and took my time and opened the message with utmost curiosity. The name is “Sruthi” and the message was a reply to my earlier text.

So the conversation goes like this.

Me: Hie!

Sruthi: Hi

Me: How is your life and how is everything?

Sruthi: Like everybody else’s. Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death.

That is the most honest answer I have ever heard! I got very intrigued and continued the conversation. We talked our hearts out and is one of the awesome talks I’ve ever had.

It felt very special like I was dreaming in heaven. Since childhood, I had a fantasy of finding honest love. Liking a person by their personality without any other factors.

I thought this might be a step towards that and went to sleep with a smile on this grumpy face. and was searching for honest love pretty much in all my relations. I got very few in life and I’m excited for this one.

The next day I woke up and the first thing I did is text her. I wanted to talk to her and I’m very excited. We talked for an hour and that is one of the best mornings I ever had.

The weekend came to an end and we talked about a lot of stuff. It is one of the best weekends I ever had. We decided to talk next week as we need to do slavery to capitalism for the next 5 days.

I’m back to the fake reality and boy this sucks. I went to the office the next day. I’m told that there is a debate in the office. We have debates in the office as a fun activity.

It is one of the activity and I like and I decided to join. We started it and was going very good. There is a girl making points in the debate. She is on fire and is eviscerating the opponents.

I liked it and it was a good hour in the office. I’ve finished my day’s work and headed home. As each minute approaches the weekend, I’m getting a tingly feeling throughout the body.

Maybe this is called “excitement” a feeling I never had for a long time. Finally, the weekend has arrived and inner is me is dancing with excitement.

I messaged her and started chatting. Back to the best times again, and I’m feeling relieved each and every moment I chat with her. I don’t know much about her, but I adore her personality.

She gave me her other Instagram handle and we started chatting on that. We decided to play truth or dare for some time and here is how it went after some questions.

Me: What if someone proposes to you now?

Sruthi: I don’t know, right now I’m numb and I honestly couldn’t tell anything.

Me: You know why I’m asking this?

Sruthi: I’m getting the hints, but not sure. Do you like me?

Me: Of course I like you, everyone likes you.

Sruthi: Haha, that is good.

****** After sometime ******

Me: Okay, I don’t want to beat around the bush. I wanted to express the feeling of my honest love to you. Now I know what you feel. I might feel sad, but I will definitely move on.

Sruthi: Okay, I get it. Thanks for being honest.

That is the best reply anyone can give honestly. Now I think about it, it is a good response. Honestly, I don’t even know how to react if some random person would propose to me online.

A couple of months passed by and we are chatting regularly. The more I know about her the more awesome is the personality she had. The best part about her is the honesty.

On a Friday morning, I went to the office and it is the debate day again. Last time one girl was spitting fire and was making awesome points. I’m looking forward to this one.

The debate started and the girl nailed it again. The way she made her points is impeccable. She encountered all the points and presented them very well.

After the debate, I went to her and talked to her. Here is how the conversation went.

Me: Hey, you nailed that debate. The points you made were awesome!

She: Thanks man, I liked your points too.

Me: Thanks, what is your name by the way?

She: My name is Rashmika, what is yours?

Me: My name is Munna.

Rashmika: Nice to meet you Munna. I will see you later.

Me: Ya sure bye! Have a good one.

I rushed home after the office as it’s the weekend. I went home freshened up and messaged her. An hour passed and I didn’t get a reply. She might be busy.

After an hour, there is a chime on my phone. It is her message, I’m excited and opened the message. It went like.

Sruthi: Hi!

Me: Hey WhatsUp!

Sruthi: Nothing much, hey I got a question to ask.

Me: Shoot it!

Sruthi: What if I delete this account and never reveal myself?

Me: I will definitely feel sad. But I will appeal to you, not to delete it.

Sruthi: Hmm, okay can I call you?

Me: Sure, now?

Sruthi: If you are busy I will call later.

Me: No, no. call me. I’m free.

***** Instagram call rings *****

Sruthi: Hi!

Me: Hey!

Sruthi: So, I need to tell you something. We are chatting for a couple of months. But I kinda know you.

Me: I didn’t get you, can you elaborate?

Sruthi: Umm yeah, I’m actually Rashmika from the office.

I was first surprised a bit, but I liked it to be accurate.

Me: Rashmika? The debate girl?

Sruthi: Yes! I’m sorry if you felt bad.

Me: No no, it is fine. I think it is brilliant and loved it.

Then I had the best phone conversation of my life. We talked about a lot of things and I felt absolutely delighted. This is the best way to know someone’s real character.

I may be acting like I’m a nice guy looking, saying honest love and all that. But without talking to me and knowing my actual character, how can she trust me?

She may or may not accept my honest love motion, but I can say with absolute certainty that I got an awesome friend for this lifetime. It is wonderful!

The Inner Demon

It howled at night in the pitch-black jungle.
It wanted to spring upon its prey,
Upon hearing the prayer.
Oh! It was a calling.

It possessed the man to commit the act.
The possession is real, oh, it's true!
The urge is real, the thirst too.
He's a conniving man now!

He turned towards the moon and smiled.
He pulled his claws and wings out,
And flew towards the moon.
Oh, the beast it was.

He got hold of a branch and moved forward;
Branch by branch and tree by tree; 
Moved till the end of the trees.
At the sight of lotus pond.

He stretched to grab the flower he loved.
In the water, when he saw himself.
Astonished, at his reflection.
For the Demon he was.

All along the way, was I always a demon?
Is my bad myself as the good is me?
Am I demon to act the thought?
Is the good thought-not-act?

He growled and cried for his own reflection.
The guilt killed his mind, ah, the tears.
The appearance too; unwatchable!
Turn me back! He growled.

But can he? Or will he change the act done?
The devilish deed and demonish greed.
The wantings of urge and pure need.
Now he is all the demon's feed.

The demon jumped out, sprung out from him.
Left him crying at the pond, laughing hard.
The man on his knees, crying out loud.
But would he know it left?

Would he ever again dare to see in the pond?
Could he ever have a glance at himself?
Will he realise that it was not him?
That it was the demon.

And the demon? Just part of his mind's jungle.
The one that hides and attacks when called.
The actions! It possesses them hard.
The thoughts however, not!

It is the thoughts that call it out to act open.
The man could have controlled the call.
But did he? He gave himself to it.
He sold the soul to the demon.

Now he gets what he asked for, the eternal guilt.
The burden of the thought; that unasked act.
That could have passed away; the thought.
But it did turn into an act.
The unforgettable.
The un-passable.
Quite natural.
But still is,
Not-allowed!
Is never.
No, No.
No.

The White Rose of Mary Garden

I belong to Mary garden,
The garden of beautiful roses,
Many are red, while one is white,
The red roses thought the white is special,
The white thought she didn't have the colour,
Every time we all grow a flower,
The gardener comes to take us all over,
He took many red, but didn't chose me much,
I thought I was not just upto the mark,
I grew flowers and then they die and fall,
No use of me like all the red flowers,
But fortunately, I was always treated equal,
Gardener loved me, he always kept me special,
I wanted all that red roses had,
Put in the normal ground with all the crowd,
Little did the gardener knew I was lonely,
He always thought I was charmingly lovely,
Neither he allowed anyone to touch me,
Nor he gave me that regular treatment,
For all I knew, I was just getting loner,
A few red roses loved me for my charm,
Then there were many that totally hated me,
I started growing weak with all that in me,
Mentally and physically, I was falling apart,
The gardener tried saving me,
But the poor didn't knew it all,
I am just a plant and I will die like all,
I tried to make flowers but I failed always,
Growing innocent that I will grow one day,
My little red friends also believed in me,
Always pushed me to get that extra mile,
I didn't want to disappoint anyone,
Pushed it harder to every ounce in me,
Unluckily for me, I didn't knew my power,
Either it was a boon or just a ban,
I realised I shouldn't have tried to know it,
When I didn't knew, I was "The White Rose,"
After I know it's all just a prose,
I died in the process just trying to bloom,
Now that I am dead, I can see it clear,
Dumb that I thought, I was the only white,
For now I know we are all coloured different,
Different and Beautiful, all over mesmerizing,
We all be born and die some day,
We all are treated equal and special,
You just need to see world from a different view,
Then you can fly and be out of the blue,
Wait the story isn't over! I did that too,
But how did I die, wasn't I supposed to live,
The red roses as I call them are all alive,
They all saw themselves normal and didn't reinvent,
or I was just a fool to think I could be any different

Compressed Room, Outburst Of Feelings.

I’m sitting in my small compressed room,
But my thoughts are going like boom.
Scrolling through texts on my phone,
Feeling like I’m in a place I don’t own.

I have a lot of emotions and want to share,
I really doubt that anyone would care.
I feel numb and start thinking of what is next,
After a while, my phone chimes and there is a text.

It’s from a dating app, and I got intrigued,
It is a girl I liked a few days ago and I’m excited.
I opened her and profile and it has no pics,
I gathered the courage to type my first words.

I want to talk to her but have no words,
There is music in my heart instead of beats.
I decided to talk to her by sending a text,
I had no courage and thinking of what to do next.

After some time, I sent her a “hello!” and was very nervous,
She read it, started typing and I got curious.
She sent me a “Hi” and that’s the best feeling ever,
Suddenly the compressed room isn’t gloomy anymore.

We are texting almost every day and it’s awesome,
It feels like my mood suddenly had a happy blossom!
Everything about her was perfect and beautiful,
Every slightest text or update of her was blissful.

She told me I’m the honest guy she ever met,
It felt like I’m looking at a beautiful sunset.
The compressed room now became a colourful one,
My happiness and joy for this are now second to none.

I started developing feelings for her and decided to confess,
I got the fear she might reject and my heart felt a little distress.
I finally gathered the courage to confess to her,
I hoped she would accept and we would be together.

She smiled at my message and replied “YES”,
I fell into a life of never-ending happiness.
I didn’t know how she looks and it doesn’t matter,
She came into my life and made it way better.

We are together and for me, it is a great success,
The compressed room became, a heaven of happiness.