Tag: #emotions

Emotions of the baboon and its pat on the back

She left. I am standing there at the railway station. I feel like running behind the train like in the films, but that would be dumb, I guess. Ah! I should just shut the fuck up and move already but I’m just looking at the moving train. What am I expecting? Are these my emotions speaking? I don’t know. Do I want her to cinematically bend form the door and wave her hand? How foolish of me. But I don’t know, it would have felt good.

I started walking out but everything felt new. I don’t even know what’s missing. But again, I guess I want to be sad because she went away. Or am I really sad? Am I sad because I know that I should be, or am I naturally sad? It’s too hard to distinguish what comes naturally and what you bring on to yourself through observations. But can one manipulate emotions easily? Why am I even thinking this nonsense!

I held to this bus and hopped on it as I am going home. And everything is peaceful and calm because the bus is not crowded. And I began diverting myself as I seemed to be drifting along the lines of overthinking. I’m a human; a body. A mere body. I shouldn’t be giving myself up to the emotions. Because I should be reasonable. What good gives emotions? Can emotions exist without reason? Look at how dumb I was at the station, I almost cried. Emotions are dumb.

Something is distracting me and bringing me back to this world, from the world of my thoughts. Because of the whistle of the bus conductor. He somehow feels like a circus master, the passengers should dance along with his whistle. Isn’t it odd to have a conductor who checks the conduct of passengers in a bus? Can’t people behave themselves? Does he have to whistle and tell people to not stand at doors and behave in a civic manner? What are we, apes?

As I thought about apes, the ape arrives bold and most beautiful. It jumped onboard from the road. The bus is so fast and it is humanly impossible to do such a stunt. He does look like an ape too. Like a baboon that finds a banana, he looks proud for pulling such a brainless stunt. “Are you mad?” shouts the conductor and I see the baboon smiling. “Kickk” he replied and it blew my mind. He did that just to feel the kick of it!

How brainless! How uncivilised! Is this how people who just blindly follow their emotions appear? Like apes? I’m an ape too, we all are apes, but we moved away from being ape. You can not be looking like a human and behave like a monkey at the same time. As I was thinking about how dumb this ape is, it was wiping its nose using its shirt. I am disgusted at the very sight of this unhygienic stunt-freak baboon.

He smiles and looks at the girl sitting opposite to him. The seats are empty, but he won’t sit. He stands at the door, and smiles at the girl straight. Because of course, he does whatever he feels like doing. And he doesn’t give a thought about it. What if I was the girl’s family? What if I kicked him in the nuts as a result of his behavior? He doesn’t think about that probability. Because again, he just does what he wishes; a slave to his emotions. And he doesn’t control them. 

Why should we control them, as a matter of fact? I’m lost. Is he happier than me because I don’t see him being guilty for drooling over a girl publicly. He isn’t bothered about how the girl feels about him. This two minute creeping gives him pleasure. He is obviously a creep, but a creep is happier than me. Does that mean I’m sad? Am I sad? I’m not, I have everything with me. I control myself!

I decide how my mind emotes. And I don’t let my emotions ride me and that makes me superior to this sweating baboon drooling over random girls. He doesn’t even care if he finds her pretty or not. I guess by his looks and behavior that he looks at every girl in the same way. He just drools over the entire gender regardless of their age or preference or looks. The extremely cis-baboon that wants what it wants and takes what it takes. 

How do people express their emotions openly like that? I would never be the baboon. Because I have good control on myself. And I have been there; I once was a person who just did what my heart advised. No fucks given to the consequences, a slave to my emotions. I wouldn’t lie, it was exciting to live that way. But that’s not civic! If my actions destroy or harm someone else’s harmony even involuntarily, that’s something I can’t accept.

I have to worry about the consequences. I just have to because we should be self-aware, or what’s the purpose of living together as a society? The vibrating phone distracts me again. It’s her! I’m excited once again, I picked the call up. I killed my excitement. “Everything’s fine?” I asked. I’m waiting for her reply, she is silent. “Are you ok?” she asks. I don’t know why she asked that. Those words started doing something in my mind.

Am I okay? Weird! “What do you mean?” I asked. “Are you crying?” she asked. My throat suddenly feels heavy, I am unable to speak because of what I heard. There is a tremble in my voice, I’m unable to find words to speak. I don’t know what’s happening to me! “I’ll call you when I get home” I said forcefully and cut the call. The block in my throat started growing intensely. Something is happening right in the middle of my chest. It feels sharp and uncontrollable. My vision is growing blurry; my eyes watery. Fuck!

Am I crying? The water kept growing and the excess drop started coming out of the eye as there was no place left in my eye to hold them. Yeah, I’m crying. I’m trying to close my lids. I closed them hard, shut them! I put my both hands over my eyes, pushed my eyes so hard trying to stop crying. Don’t cry! Please! Are you crying for the sake of it? Do you really miss her? Or are you crying because you have to? You fucking idiot! You complicated piece of junk!

Suddenly a hand fell on my head and I looked at the man with my semi-teary eyes. It was the baboon. He is patting my head and moves to sit beside me. I closed my eyes again with my arms. The baboon didn’t ask me anything. Maybe it’s just because I’m a girl, but either way his touch didn’t feel bad. He kept patting and he never spoke a word. And as a result of it I felt good and I cried!

Existence Is Not The Question, How You Do Is.

In our everyday life, most of us tend to question our existence. Questions like “why do I exist?” “Why should I suffer in this existence?” or statements like “I wish I never existed.” “My existence is worthless.” I think we are doing it in the wrong way.

Firstly, let us state the facts. We exist and that it the ultimate truth. You can deny, question and do everything, but we exist, and you cannot deny that. You were the fastest sperm to reach the egg and you are born, and you live. No matter how much denial you have, it doesn’t matter. The point is you exist. 

You can prove your existence by science, spirituality, religion or any medium possible. You can take any science book from beginner to advanced or any religious book of any religion. They explain human existence. 

Now, as we are on the same level, lets us ask the correct question. How do you exist? Yes, the question is slightly weird but give it a thought. Well, the thing is there is no universal theory on how a human should or will exist. Because we all are just leading the life.

Yes, many of us may disagree, but we are leading a life not living it. Because we are dependent, we cannot live even one day without depending on others. From the milk in the morning to the bed in the night, someone has helped us to live in a better way. 

Not only the physical needs, but we are dependent emotionally as well. You might be having a rough day, feeling sad, feeling lonely and many more. We look for human contact so that we can share the same with them and probably move past it after sharing. 

The problem comes with emotional needs. I mean if a grocery shop provides you with the worst support you simply go to a different shop and buy groceries. You don’t go to the owner and ask what is wrong and have a talk, right? 

But when it comes to people, we tend to find out what is wrong with them and why are they not talking to us the way they used to talk to us. This is because people are not just objects, and you cannot replace them just like that. They have more value in our life than materialistic things. We tend to ask ourselves a lot of questions when they don’t behave the same way.

So the question of existence mainly comes when the people don’t behave with us the way they used to be. They may not speak to us for various reasons. You might have done something wrong, something they don’t like, or you might have hurt them not knowingly.

You start to question yourself and blame yourself for being stupid. Gradually, this fills up your mind, and there will be no space. Even the slightest of the things irritate you, and you want that person to speak with you. Eventually, you only feel sad or angry and go to trance and begin to question everything.

You want to avoid or not live in the moment, and ultimately you question your existence. I’m not saying this process is right or wrong; I’m saying the question is not logical. Yes, I understand it hurts very much, but clinging on to one emotion makes you lose everything. It devastates you on a large scale.

The person can be your friend, colleague, girlfriend, boyfriend, parents, siblings, close cousin; it can be anyone. You might have apologised tons of times for the mistake. You might not have made any mistake with your consciousness, or it may be you thinking that person ignores you or hates you. 

It can be anything, don’t question your existence or cling on to one emotion. It is not good at all. If you care for that person, you have to respect their decision of ignoring you. That is the essence of true relation. I have faced many in the past and started thinking the same recently.

By recently, I don’t mean days or months; I mean hours. and I stopped questioning why I exist and clinging to one emotion. I see the old joyful version of myself. I’m not saying to ignore the people who ignore you. I’m saying be the same you are with them but do give a value to yourself as well. 

In the end, you may love yourself or hate yourself, but you have to realise that you exist. If you genuinely respect and care for any other person, you should have the same respect for yourself. Not because of pity or something, but because you exist and that matters. 

How To Make Yourself Hard!

Guys guys, I’m not writing an article on how to get satisfied sexually or reach an orgasm, remove those hands off your pants! Don’t get excited in that way, but get excited differently because the article may turn you on differently 😉. Wait! no kinky stuff! 

In this article, let us learn how to make ourselves hard as a rock so that we don’t get emotional or have feelings. Who wants emotions? Only the weak! We have to be strong and hard! Lets us learn how to be hard.

Don’t Be Sad: Yes, it is that simple! Don’t be sad; being sad makes you weak. Be stern, no matter what happens, don’t let your sadness come out. You may have suffered a breakup, didn’t get the promotion you are looking for, fought with a friend, family issues, or it may be anything don’t be sad.

Even if the issue is out of your hand, don’t feel sad or cry. Just say I’m hard who cares for this shit and move on. If you want to be hard as a rock, you need to live these things. 

Keep Everything Inside: Yes! This is important. Don’t share your feelings with anyone and let everything be inside of you. Let everything contaminate and blow your brain out, but don’t share your feelings, opinions or anything with anyone.

If you share, you will become weak. You need to keep everything inside, suffer for yourself, feel happy for yourself or sad for yourself. You should not share and keep everything inside.

Don’t Avoid Fights:  Never back down or avoid a fight, if possible, ignite conflicts and fight the fuck out. Be a macho and fight for everything imaginable. By this, you will get a firm, and people around you will be scared of you.

By initiating fights you are considered the hardest and ruthless, if you break jaws and bones, you are a gangster. Who is more rigid than a gangster? No one. So pick up or initiate fights you will become harder.

Be Aggressive: You might have listened to songs or read quotes on being like an unleashed dog or a wild animal; the true nature of them is aggressive. So get that aggression, be as aggressive as possible. Break things, have arguments be intimidating.

By this, you can be ruthless and very hard. It helps you create a fierce and aggressive environment around you. This possession of power makes you feel dominating, and you become hard.

In the end, if you attain the qualities above, you will become hard as a rock, the macho man and if possible a gangster. How cool is it? Very cool, like you will have people around you, saluting and cheering you but in fear of course but who cares? You are hard, aren’t you?

Let us roll back for a moment and think when we are born as humans, why the fuck should we be hard as a rock or have no feelings? A human who is free to express his feelings and thoughts when needed is the real hardest person ever! Not the one who keeps fighting or is serious or aggressive. So be the real hard person and let your emotions flow.

Hey Sad Guy, Not Today!

Hate when people say let go of all the negativity; like negativity is some force or energy that I can shed off. Wish it was that easy! Ironically it is the people that put the negativity there in the first place. I want to call this negativity as a ‘mood’. This negativity they talk about is a bad mood, and you need to keep away from it to have a good day because it is good days and multiple of them that forms a good life. 

What ‘good’ is depends on one’s definition of what ‘bad’ is. If you know what’s wrong for you, you should avoid things that make you feel bad for the rest of your day. Unfortunately for us, multiple aspects make sure of spoiling your day. It is like someone coding a few bad mood inducers in a day, trying to mess up. All you got to do is to be resilient to such inducing agents. 

Such agents can be objects that remind you of bad memories or can be people who are already having a bad day. You can avoid looking at and going to the items that make you feel bad. But it is unfair to say “get lost” to a person who is having a bad day. It is in human nature to go and console those people in sorrow.

You can console them if you want to, but it’s not that you are a bad person if you don’t. It is a choice, and if you choose to console them, it is not that you are good, it’s just that you prefer to comfort sad people. Everyone has ‘sad guys’ in their life. These sad guys are the inducing agents of bad mood. They don’t know that they are doing that, they are in sorrow themselves, but their grief passes on through their facial expressions, responses and words. Words of a person in distress, given the right vocabulary, can make every listener sad.

woman in gray tank top
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

So, when someone told you to let go of all the negativity, they indirectly mean to dump these bad mood-inducing objects and people. They may not mean that, but it is the process behind letting the negativity go. In real life, we have energies that make us work, but this positivity/negativity are not one of those scientific energies. They are a figure of speech meaning mood. Let us not consider vibes as some invisible waves transmitting from minds of people, but let us assume vibes to be words, responses and reactions of people. 

If you see a person in sad expression, you would at least feel like asking them what’s wrong, depends on you if you don’t. But you at least think ‘Why are they sad?’. You drift away thinking about what might have made them sad, and you keep on relating it to your life, reminding you of your own set of painful or bad memories. It might trigger sadness in you; hence the vibes passed. Butterfly effin’ effect! That butter eating kid with the bad mood in California can create a chain of bad moods till Syria and make a militant blast himself! With the internet and sharing thoughts, it is even more possible..

To these sad guys that make our day terrible by being sad, it’s not your mistake, but you should be aware what your mood makes you speak and how those words impact the listener’s mood. You are not ‘vibing’ through invisible waves of energy, but you are passing on bad mood through your facial expressions and your blabbering lips. All you can do is telling the sad guy not to be sad, offering them a solution. Yet, it is their call to take the solution or stop being sad.

You can’t just vibe out the sad guy the way they vibed you into a bad mood. But you can help them kill their sadness gradually, and it might help you get back on track with your ‘positive’ mood. This help is to feel good for yourself, and there is nothing noble about it. But if you choose not to help there is still a chance that you are in a bad mood, thinking about your own set of memories triggered because of that sad guy in your life. You need to understand that if you can not help the sad guy, and if there is nothing you can do to make them positive; you need to drop the trials. You should stop trying and care about your own mood. Your failure of a trial should not make you sad. Because if that made you miserable, you are a ‘sad guy’ in someone else’s life.

This is how the chain works, passing bad moods, being a sad guy in someone’s life. It is not voluntary, and it is not a choice to get low. But how you react to a situation is your call. After you receive an event, it might trigger sadness, happiness or thousand other emotions, but how you react is a choice. Not right at that moment, because at that moment you might respond in an emotional rush. When you are in an emotional rush, you should let it out by either speaking out or acting it out. If you hold on to that emotion, it carries forward throughout the day, and again you become the sad guy.

Not finding an outlet to let your bad mood out, makes you loathe about it all day and you end up moaning, whining and being a guy that speaks out negative words. You even react and respond negatively to almost everything. These responses hurt people, and if they didn’t let that out, they become you, the ‘sad guy’!

We need to break the chain of passing on the bad mood. A bad mood is attractive because it adds some weight to your character. You think it gives you some definition, but it won’t. For breaking the chain, you need to be aware of your mood, reactions and expressions. Do not suppress your inner emotional rush; that is not what I’m trying to say here. Ironically, suppressing your emotions will make you whiny and sad. Act when you want to act, let it all out. Do not carry the burden of emotions and feelings that you can’t lift anymore. Be open and expressive about your feelings, make sure every emotion is justified right, and you won’t carry it forward. Avoid the sad guy’s sadness impacting your mood. Even if you console them, you need not take it personally. 

Tell the sad guy of your life, “Not today!”

The Difference Of Living And Leading

The Human mind is very mysterious,

With loads of emotions and thoughts;

It is always curious to learn things.

It helps to think and get elegant solutions,

But we always overthink and create complex problems.

The definition of life is a reality to be experienced,

One of the most vital things required to live is emotions;

Without emotions, life cannot be balanced.

Two of the most important emotions are happiness and sadness.

Instead of expressing sadness as an emotion, we get addicted,

When emotion becomes an addiction, it is madness.

Sadness is nothing but a situation, which didn’t go as planned,

When we feel sad, we share it with our loved ones;

Some times they get bored, that doesn’t make them bad,

You want them to listen to your tears, without expecting solutions;

But if we don’t accept the moment, none can change our mood.

In the end,

We may feel dwelling with thoughts in the calmness of night may give a sense of peace and understanding to life. The only difference between living a life and leading a life is accepting the moment. The squeaky cry of the heart may be unheard at night, but the musical sound of birds chirping in the morning will always give the energy to start everything fresh.