#sex – Penfluky

Congratulations! It’s a bartender!

Being born in India is like being born with a head tag that reads out one’s career. Right when the baby drops out or sometimes even before the sperm has hit the egg, they are destined to become something. “Hey, I want to have kids” both the parents talk. But it’s a bit different here, it’s like “Shit my favourite uncle died of cancer! Let’s have sex and give birth to doctor?”

The kid learns unscrewing a bolt, and the parents are already proud. They are pleased because they want to make the kid a mechanical engineer, and this unscrewing somehow makes them feel like it’s progress. Doesn’t make sense? Shouldn’t either! “I always wanted to make you a doctor, son” Come, one dad, I always wanted to be born in a mansion with 24 servants. I couldn’t choose my parents, neither can you determine what happens to me.

When I was a kid, I always dreamed of holding guns and standing at the border, chanting slogans of my country. If the tables had turned and my country was to be vanished and occupied, I would still be holding a gun, but I would be called a militant. Career is a joke! Professions are just labels we created to make things easy; they are only labels.

I felt relieved when my schooling was finished. Didn’t even know what those subjects had to do with my life, but I was promised that they would somehow help me. I happened to visit an uncle who lectured me for an hour. He said I should take engineering as my bachelor’s degree and also study my masters in some foreign university. I never knew why people would do those things. Like studying in international institutions, as they cost a lot! I thought they were going for the quality of education. But it was only later that I realised they needed quality of certification and not professional training.

An MA History from Danayya Institute from Dilshuknagar looks blech. But the same certificate with beautiful words and designs looks attractive. Who doesn’t “Woah” at a guy who had done ‘Masters in Liberal Arts’ at Stanford University? Did they feed him with diamonds? I don’t think so. But you can definitely buy diamonds with the expense of studying outside.

Many people talk only about what they studied in the US or the UK. They won’t tell you how they paid their tuition fee. “What are you doing in the UK, Kaushik?” “Ah! MS! The US not the UK!” they say. They won’t tell you how many drinks they served to the customer as a bartender. They won’t tell you how many windshields they have wiped to be able to buy the flight ticket home. Their struggle is real, and their pain is genuine. Just because a parent’s uncle died of cancer, they decided to donate their kid to health services. They had the kid brainwashed from school and pushed towards medicine.

While you sit here watching TV and telling your neighbours and relatives that your son is studying ‘Doctor’ in the US, he is cleaning pukes out of bar tables! Congratulations, It’s a bartender! The destined doctor you gave birth to had to see a hard life in a place that is not home because of your little fantasy. You could have instead donated your sperm if you wanted to help people medically! Maybe give something once in a while to hospitals? No! You had to have a kid that does what you can not!

Somewhere after realising that he actually wants to become a dancer, your son has already spent half of his life satisfying your doctor-doctor fantasy. You dream of your son becoming a top surgeon, buying you a car and a luxury villa. It is not wrong to imagine such things. But why doesn’t it strike to you that your kid has the mind to have some dreams too? What if he/she is dreaming of singing on a stage? What if she wants to be a stripper? That surely is a possibility!

Have a kid, if you want a kid, or your condom broke! Your dead uncle is dead. People who want to become an engineer will become an engineer. People who want to treat your madness will become a therapist. Just because you can’t fix your flat tyre, don’t have kids and make them a mechanic.

The original sin!

The guiltiest pleasure there always has been sex. We shy away from the very notion of it. We try to behave very asexually, but the inner demon always shouts it out. You know you need it, you still think of it, but you feel guilty. Well, there is no need to be guilty of it. You are not a pervert just by thinking of it. It’s your natural drive asking for you do it. When you feel the urge, it feels the only fact there is, nothing other than sex feels real. But as they say, the post-orgasm demon gets you right after the climactic moment. You feel like shit like you have done an enormous crime.

But you didn’t, you just got mischievous that’s all! But why the guilt? Why do you regret? It’s obviously because of the ban of love in society. Everyone wants it, but everyone has always been against it so much that they made it the original sin.

Society bans you from exploring your sexuality. Everyone becomes a villain, and there’s no one but the internet to tell you what it is. Cigarettes are accepted, even marijuana, but this not-sin always remained a sin! In some countries, people still feel hesitation for calling SEX as SEX. I remember my teacher just skipping the chapter and asking us to read it ourselves.

We have made it a sin for so long that people are feeling sexually repressed. They are taking the wrong measures to fulfil their urges. Rape, one of the causes of rape, is sexual repression. The same logic that legalising weed to control illegal weed rings can be applied to sex. You can legalise single person prostitution instead of making it a ring. But, unlike marijuana, consensual sex isn’t harmful. Neither was it illegal. It’s just looked upon as immoral. How can we reject the very thing that brought us onto the earth? Why not tell your kids about it, before they learn it themselves all wrong? Why not being open about it for just a normal thing it is.

Just like how there are always two extremes for anything, there are people who overdo when they talk about sex. Sex is often shown as the ultimate liberation a human can have in their life. It’s not the only thing you should do! It’s the exact extremism that the guys who ban it are doing. Sex is a normal thing just like how one eats, drinks and shits. It is not your final destination.

It is one of the basic needs of a human and every sexually reproducing beings. I don’t see dogs being shy about sex. Neither do I see them writing books on why one should never have sex. Of course, they are not as aware as us, not as intelligent as us, but they sure are free and happy than us!

Talking about sex is not pervy; neither is being open about it. It’s not a one time offer you get in life. You can always get it if you try, there are various other methods to get one laid. To be honest, even I feel guilty writing about it. I’m overcoming my guilt to let you know why it’s okay and not something that is to be regretted.

To reject it is to deny your own identity. Adam and Eve (here, in a metaphorical sense referring to our ancestors) didn’t eat the forbidden fruit, and they just did their part in the course of nature to preserve their race. It got pleasurable and better in evolution, and it’s now an activity people do for fun.

It’s just simple to speak about sex. Before we fight for the recognition of other sexual orientations, we need first to normalise sex. Why is the identification of all the different genders being a hard struggle? Why are people finding it hard? Because people try to hate or immensely love sex, they have immoralised or over-moralised sex itself.

We should take it slow and fight for sexual freedom first. It is not to be looked upon as a taboo. Normalise it and educate people about consent. Don’t burden people with moral bullshit. Please don’t make them feel repressed. Explore your own sexual desires, keep the urges in your control. You are only a pervert if you are over-doing it.

What good have morals done banning the very nature of human?

Why do we exist? For what purpose?

What is the purpose? What is it that we are chasing? Our goals, desires and wanting, are they defining our purpose? When we were kids, “All I need is this video game, nothing else” we thought. But did we stop with the video game? If we finally grabbed it, the desire is achieved. A new desire is allocated to our brain. If we never had the chance to grab it, it falls in the soon-to-be achieved bucket list we create in our minds. But, in either case, you never stopped desiring.

These desires, they define your purpose, keep you busy in trying to achieve them. And once you have achieved that, you automatically start desiring something else; the never-ending loop of human desire.

Even our natural desires by instinct, hunger, and sex too are recurring. You eat fully, yet fall hungry; you need the synthesised energy to exist. You have sex, you feel euphoric, yet you want it again after a while. It’s your body fooling you to have sex! Why sex? Why does one love the activity of procreation so much? If sex was not pleasurable, would a person do it? Wouldn’t it be gross to touch one’s own phallus? Let alone putting it into a vulva!

We have evolved into what we are through natural and artificial selections. Artificial selections are human-made, and Natural selection is the survival of the fittest. The fittest doesn’t mean strongest; it means the one who adapts and survives all the conditions that change. Adaption is the reason why we exist.

Aeons ago, a random event caused atmosphere on earth, and a cell had formed. Had the cell not been adaptive, had the cell not created a way to synthesise energy and replicate itself into duplicate cells. We would not have been here, neither would I write this post, nor would you be reading it. It’s all because one cell decided to do something no other cell ever did. Well, it was not a conscious decision, but it happened.

But for us humans, we are conscious. We are here on earth, and we are very complex. We home 37 trillions of cells now, and we have an interface called consciousness; we are self-aware that is. We have the will and freedom to choose. We see, hear, feel, and form opinions with the data received through senses. If the purpose of the cell was to adapt, what is the purpose of a being with 37.2 trillion cells?

It is safe to say that the cell was selfish, not consciously, but it had to preserve itself. It didn’t want to lose its existence. It replicated copies of itself, and it still existed in the replications even after perishing. ‘Self-preserving’ was its purpose. It has to make sure that it will reproduce and preserves itself.

Now is it what we do? We were sperms and eggs of someone, and we want our sperms and eggs to incubate. The DNA we have has something genetic memory. The first-ever human being, or beings, when reproduced, their DNA is passed onto their infants, their genetic memory is passed on to next generations. We carry the memory of our great ancestors. They live in us in the form of genes! They still exist even after they have perished. We carry their genes, and we reproduce to pass it on. We are preserving ours and our ancestor’s existence.

That’s our ultimate purpose, technically; to reproduce! That’s what we all are here for, to have kids! Now, this might sound like a dumb theory because many of us don’t or can’t have kids. That’s were defects and choices take over. The advantage of this interface called consciousness gives us options. We can choose or not choose to reproduce. Some are born with defects making them impotent to reproduce. Our evolution has let us so advance that we can now reproduce even though we have defects. No matter how silly that might sound, biologically, our only purpose is to keep on existing by creating copies of ourselves.

All the other desires are for us to be alive. If there are no desires and you realise that there is no higher purpose, why would you live, and what for? The familial ties, the emotions, desires, and the never-ending pursuit of happiness exist because, without that tangle, we would never be diverted from the void of purposelessness. Everything we have created keeps us busy from thinking about the oblivion. We don’t want to think about the end; we obsessively want that toe massager we saw online, we got to earn some money to possess it. We give ourselves little purposes to live the day. There exist higher purposes, like dreams and goals.

Without them, would we even look into the future?
Without love, would we ever unite? 
Without pleasure, would we ever copulate?

Everything is a show-off, a diversion created through natural and artificial selections. We have created everything to keep us deviated from the nullness. We delude ourselves in the endless chase of achieving the dreams till we finally perish, but we still exist. We exist as data, a memory that has passed down. It’s like a memoir; an autobiography passed to next generations for their adaption and survival through conditions. Hence, when all the psychological purposes are stripped down to basic biology, it just looks like we are agents that pass on the existence of our that single-celled ancestor. We are agents of self-preservation. Our sole purpose is to reproduce and should you or can you are dependent on you. The freedom of choice we have achieved through natural selection has its disadvantages too.

We choose to end the lineage being passed on. 
We don't see a reason to reproduce. 
We have invented measures for pleasures, avoiding reproduction. 
We can enjoy the pleasurable moment of sex and not have offsprings.

Our purpose is long solved, or we don’t want to solve it. The final destination, the goals our life are just constructs of our mind. On a whole cosmical level, we are and have nothing. The purposelessness is to be accepted and spoken more than fearing it. It might creep you out that you were just an accident. It is not to be scared but embraced. In all those years of unevolved consciousness and under-developed sense of choice, we are here, you and I. We have the power of choice. If every purpose and desire is just biological deception, and if it makes you happy or keeps you chasing for happiness, what’s wrong in doing it? Just because you know that love is just a chemical reaction, doesn’t mean you don’t need such deception.

If it keeps you happy, even for an instant, why would you not make it your purpose? Why should you not consciously create your own purpose? Why should you not have all the fun before you perish?